Copyright by Hans Peter Trauschke
Scene I – 水
What is truth? Is it an experienced situation based on our senses and defined by a logical mind, for instance seeing a lake, or is it the infinite possible shapes in which water can show up before we define it as a lake? Benjamin had no doubt that the truth is the possibility and it’s on him if it’s a lake, a river, a drop, fog, steam or ice. It’s his inner decision where the water defines its outside experienced shape. I think, therefore I am, means first of all that everything is how we can think it without a doubt. Having no doubt about something, because it’s logical, reduces the many possibilities to the one experienced reality at the shortest way possible. The thought, like a seed, caries the information and defines the shape of the tree. ”So, how you wanna think our reality, Yasha?” “I’ll gonna think it in brightest colors, deepest emotions, the widest variety of sounds and satisfying for all our senses! I’ll think us as the true definition of love. This love, that is was all about from the very beginning of our journeys!“
Scene II – 欲望
Yasha and Benjamin didn’t leave the house for days and discovered every square inch of their bodies and minds with an, until then, unknown desire, wondering that these bodies and minds were exactly the ones they’ve imagined, experienced, touched, smelled and loved in the distance of a thousand miles. “Benjamin, how could you know that this will happen, since it all started with a lie.” “It wasn’t a lie Yasha, you just didn’t know that what you’re calling now a lie, was your actual truth. It all started with your thought and that thought don’t make a difference between truth and lie. That thought and your following words just became necessarily reality and just like me, you loved me before you even knew. Be careful with your thoughts Yasha, they always look for manifestation.” “I know, but am still surprised when they really do.” “We should go for a walk Yasha. I feel like having some fresh air will be even more surprising.” “How about just sitting at the pier and listening to the water, Benjamin?” “Sure. I’m wondering what it will tell us now.”
Scene III – 雨
The water was quiet when Yasha and Benjamin arrived at the pier. Some birds were singing, some dogs were running around, trying to catch the ducks, children were playing and laughing, some raindrops left the dark clouds, felt on Yashas and Benjamins face and started to talk. “Wonderful, you both could finally think it! We were already wondering how long you can defend.” Yasha rested her head in Benjamins lap and the drops slowly covered her face to give her beauty an extra brilliance. A glowing silence surrounded them in which the drops that hit Yashas skin sounded like distant drums of hearts and sparkled like little diamonds. Some of the gems disappeared between her little open lips, touched her tongue and made her heart speak. “Aaaaah, ooooooh, uuuuuuuh!“
Scene IV – 首歌
Yashas liberated tender singing heart was like the answer for every question Benjamin ever had. All curtains opened up. On stage a life in colors, tones and fragrances strong enough to become infinite. Yashas breath flattered to Benjamins ears, transformed into sound clouds of an orchestra on which she was sailing with her instrument, its wing sharp and height in the wind. She smelled like a first time blooming flower and embraced Benjamins sense with her velvety leaves. Her eyes were glowing like distant stars which presented Benjamin the world he was searching for. He dived into these oceans of tales, surrounded by her sound waves, breathing her songs and nippled her light. Years went by, perhaps only seconds.
Scene V – 血液
“Benjamin I feel horrible when I think that I have to leave you soon. Can’t you come with me for some weeks? The idea that you could wait for me at the hotel after the concerts is so wonderful that I can’t get it out of my mind, and the idea that you won’t be waiting when I come to these ice cold environments almost makes my cry immediately.” Benjamin didn’t know what to say, looked into her tears filled eyes, cuddled her lips with his thumb which she immediately bit and hold between her ivory teeth, convinced to never let it free again. There was no way for Benjamin to leave NY. He had to setup his new studio, shop and gallery space, he had to prepare investor events for his upcoming art work and he had to make money by renovating houses. He was only a year in NY now and everything was still way to fragile that he could leave and travel with Yasha. “Say something Benjamin! Please say that you’ll come with me!” “You know I can’t Yasha. I’m still dancing on razors edge and need to make sure that I get solid ground under my feet. You know I’ll be with you Yasha, just like the past two years and I’m sure you’ll feel me closer now.” Yasha silently lost some tears, smiled defiant, bit again in his thumb until the taste of his blood filled her mouth.
Scene VI – 飞
Yashas apartment was dominated by a marvelous bed, which the sunrise bathe in its glory and her piano, that stood in the room like a spaceship, waiting for its commander, ready to take off and discover unknown worlds. Sometimes she woke Benjamin up by flying her spaceship, took him out of a dream into another, embraced him with her music, wearing nothing than her velvety glowing skin and her new high heels. When she looked at Benjamin, he went up like in trance, took place on her throne, Yasha glided atop, ignited the engines, to travel their new world. Yashas songs weren’t only to hear, but also to taste, to see, to feel and to smell. She had mysterious tales to tell, some that tasted like fruits, looked like flower fields, felt like a bath in rose oil and smelled like birth, others that tasted like her blood, looked like waves from the past, felt like the view to the moon and smelled like her tears. She was light like a feather, commanded her ship through stormy oceans of tones, wild rivers of light and silent seas of love.
Scene VII – 日落
When they landed again, Yasha went to the bathroom, took a shower, called Benjamin to soap her wet hot body, hung herself around his neck, devoured his erection and let the water cool her face. Everything happened like in slow motion that gave their feelings time to dive for deepest ground. They found shells with pearls like goddess tears and sea stars shining for heavens gate. After they emerged on the oceans surface, Benjamin wrapped her in a soft towel, made some breakfast and left the house. Yasha had to prepare her next trip and Benjamin needed to work. They decided to meet at sunset to enjoy the water music and the singing birds and were both satisfied after a marvelous trip through space and time.
Scene VIII – 渴望
After Benjamin left, Yasha went for the first time since days online and read Benjamins new texts. She devoured each word and loved it. This was exactly the kind of love that gave her satisfaction. She thought about the last 10 wild days and nights, called Benjamin, asked where he exactly is, took a cap, disappeared with Benjamin in the basement of the house he’s renovating, tore his clothes from his body, rode him like a black wilde panther and collapsed exhausted after she was done. She haven’t only studied her Faust but also the Kama Sutra and surprised Benjamin daily with her knowledge. She was a real goddess in everything she did and celebrated herself as such. “Will you miss me when I’m gone, Benjamin?” “Oh yeah my black diamond, I will count the seconds, the minutes, the hours and the clouds until you’re back in my arms.” “You have to come to all my concerts Benjamin, and I want you to take place on my throne before I come on stage, so I can ride on you. Promise!” “I promise, Yasha, I’ll be there prepared for your satisfaction!” Yasha wrapped her naked body with her purple coat and gave Benjamin a kiss. “See you at sunset, my stallion! Make sure you have fresh energy!“
Scene IX – 镜子
When Yasha arrived at the pier, she seemed to levitate above the ground. Her face shone like a million diamonds when she landed in Benjamins arms and the fire of her eyes bored itself into his heart, took his breath away and got reanimated by her kisses. There were no wilder, no more tender and no sweeter kisses than hers. They tasted like honey, smelled like roses in the morning, felt like bites in peaches and sounded like the background noise of the universe. She was still naked under her coat, opened it and embraced Benjamin with her hot skin. He sunk down, covered by her coat, kissed her languish kingdom and the sun broke through the clouds. Yasha was bathing in the sunset, enjoying Benjamins play, while the water mirrored the scene in all directions.
Scene X – 告别
Time stood still and Yasha was sending a silent moaning over the waves which echoed it to the clouds and from there over the whole town, like an awakening. Every corner of NY was filled with her sound, traffic stopped, people watched the sky, listened to the clouds, hypnotized by Yashas satisfaction. She stood like a slowly moving ivory goddess on the pier, her hands in Benjamins hair which made sure, that she never even think about another man. It was there last evening before Yasha will leave NY and both didn’t want to talk, as if time will not passing by then.
Scene XI – 转型
Yasha was on her trip to Italy and New York was cold, windy and rainy. She left Benjamin the key to her apartment to ensure that he’s closest to her and could enjoy the smell of the bedsheets that were soaked in their lust. When he woke up, surrounded by her fragrances, his eyes still closed, her voice in his ears, his breath became her breath and she flew over her keyboard like a swarm of birds over the tree tops. Yasha was in the middle of a Tchaikovsky rehearsal when she discovered new tempos and pauses, that gave her concerto a whole new frame. She had the same feeling as in Melbourne, when she first time played it, after she met Benjamin, and now she knew what it is. Benjamins unconditional love, that gave her all freedom and the security of a magician. Each cell of her body received and got filled with this elixir of life. Some of her fingers landed on the keyboard in nosedive, others in slow motion, some like hammers, others like feathers, tears and kisses. In trance she celebrated her Tchaikovsky like nobody in the orchestra had ever heard before.
Scene XII – 治愈
Benjamin decided to finally cure his broken rips and spend the rest of the day in Yashas bed, surrounded by some soft puppets and a pink panther that seemed to be the king of them. He was a nice guy and told Benjamin as of course all secrets about Yasha. Benjamin couldn’t be surprised anymore and listened to the pink panther stories as if they contained nothing new and sometimes he even finished the sentences of the panther that then was surprised by Benjamin, so they soon became best friends, sharing their experiences with Yasha. Benjamin just closed his eyes again when his cellphone rung and Yasha called. “Benjamin my sunshine, don’t believe everything the panther tells you. He’s a storyteller and likes to make things up.” “What a surprise Yasha, he just started to tell the story how you overtook my life and was surprised that I knew it already in all details. I must say he’s pretty precise with his observations.” Yasha was laughing. “I hope you’re happy that I did so, Benjamin!” “Yes I am, nevertheless the scarfs look pretty wild.” “You know I love all of them. Did you hear my Tchaikovsky, Benjamin?” “Sure did I, and I’ve never heard something similar. I hope you’ve recorded it and you’ll send me a file, so I can listen to it whenever I feel like!” “Since I know that it will force your cure I’ve already put it online and sent you the link! May I ask you to come to my dreams tonight, Benjamin?” “I’ll be there as your king, my queen!”
Scene XIII – 帝
Benjamin closed his eyes, entered Yashas dream and they went to a villa that was once part of Benjamins theatre kingdom. Villa Paceri was 40 miles outside of Rome on the Via Salaria close to Campo Maggiore, standing on top of a mountain, surrounded by 5000 blooming olive trees. When they arrived it looked like nothing had changed. The old stone street that meandered up the mountain and ended at a huge double wing iron gate, was still a road into another millennium. The majestic palm trees were still reaching the sky, hundreds of sheep controlled by huge white dogs were still running around, the fragrance of ‘Il Mare’ was still in the air and the villa still enthroned over the glowing city of Rome. The farmer that took care of the property always left a key in the little chapel that stood in the shadow of the villa and which was still full of spiderwebs. Benjamin took the key, opened the wooden gate, took Yasha on his arms and carried her across the threshold into her dream castle. He made fire, brought some red wine, olive oil and bread from the kitchen and they took place in front of the fireplace, listening to the crackling of their kingdom.
Scene XIV – 波
“Since this is your dream, we should talk about your music Yasha?” “Sure Benjamin, please! That’s why we met in the first place.” “What is a tone?” “Vibration of matter.” “In your case executed with a hammer on a string. When this tone comes out of your mouth, it’s the expression of an emotion which is a reaction to an experience. The experienced story needs time to be told and insofar also time to reacted with an emotion and producing the following tone, which carries the whole story in its vibration. You can’t have an emotion before its story is told.” Yasha was laughing and pressed her head on his neck. “Each tone needs a story that makes him happen. Remember the sound over New York yesterday!” “We should do that here too, Benjamin!” “Sweet! Let’s go on the rooftop and send some waves to Rome! Take your time!”
Scene XV – 音
The view from the villas rooftop down to Rome became comparable with the view from heavens pantheon down to earth when Yasha came on stage. The warm wind came up the hills, blew her silky veil away, embraced her grace with a deep warm tone while Benjamin went slowly down on her. The time between breathing in and breathing out felt like minutes and each breath was filled with goddess lust. She looked like carved in marble, transformed slowly into wax, melted into sounds and sent them down to Rome that lighted up like a star when her waves arrived. Her kingdom pulsated like a drum, surrounded by soft dunes and slowly transformed into an erupting volcano whose lava tasted like honey and sounded like victory. “Benjamin, ooooh Benjamin!” “Yes Yasha, that’s a tone!“
Scene XVI – 间
Yasha woke up by the echo of her own tone that trembled her tense senses. She didn’t wanted to open her eyes just to realize that Benjamin isn’t there and that this tone came from a dream. She kept them close, filled them with tears of joy, slurped these as they reached her lips, scanned them with her tongue to convert them into a tone. She created tears of lust, joy, fear, happiness, loneliness, more lust and listened to the sounds that they produced. Benjamin was right, every tone needed a story behind, otherwise it was just noise that didn’t tell more than a hammer hits a string and the moment she told the story to fast had just the same result. Time came to her mind. “Take your time to tell the whole tale in all details!“
Scene XVII – 梦
Benjamin was day dreaming, covered in Yashas bedsheets when she called. “Thank you for that dream last night Benjamin! I found the villa on the map and am thinking to drive up there.” “Yasha, am I still day dreaming or am I awake listening to a goddess?” “You’re awake!” “Really? Great! Yes you should drive up there. 5 miles further, left hand on Via Salaria is also a great restaurant. Tell them you’re the goddess of ‘Il tedesco’ and there will be no wish open. But bring time with you. Lunch lasts for hours there.” “To bad that you’re not here. Imagine that dream last night would become reality.” “Well I’m still wondering if there’s really a difference, since the emotions based on that dream are real. And didn’t you wake up by the echo of these emotions?” “Yes I did and I embraced that sound! How are your rips doing without me nursing you?” “They still remind me with each breath how beautiful it is when pain slowly disappears.” “How’s my pink panther doing?” “He’s doing great, talks a lot and seems to enjoy my company.” “I hope you’re aware that he’s making things up. Don’t believe everything he’s telling you.” “Hey Pinky, Yasha says you’re making things up!” “And who taught me that?” “Yes Yasha, who taught him that?” “Well, I didn’t! Must have been the neighbors cat!” “That’s a cat? I thought that’s a Pudel.” “Pudel…cat…where’s the difference if they are bad teachers?!” Pinky and Benjamin were laughing. “Just please come to my dream tonight, Benjamin! I have to show you something!“
Scene XVIII – 光
“Your turn Pinky!” “Don’t look at me like that, Benjamin. I’m just listening and missed the point years ago where I could tell if things are true or false. So how can I know if I make things up or not?” “Hmm, there’s some truth in that Pinky!” “Well Benjamin, I would say Yasha has the same problem and if you weren’t here I would have said that she made you up. Until now you were just one of the many virtual characters I’ve heard about and couldn’t imagine that there are real people behind. I always had the impression that she’s playing a computer game and the things that happened were just virtual. You push the button and a new game starts. But with you it was different, the game never ended, nevertheless she pushed the delete button a couple of times, it was still going on. And now you’re here and real! You are real, aren’t you?! It’s confusing Benjamin.” “Don’t worry Pinky, there will be light and you’ll understand.“
Scene XIX – 噩梦
Benjamin went out of the bed, took a shower, played some notes on her piano to give his feelings a tone, left the house to go for a walk along the Hudson River and entered Yashas dream. She was at the concert hall, playing her piano and the doorkeeper stood next to her. “That’s what you wanted to show me? Ok I’ve seen it! Bye!” “Benjamin wait! It’s not like you think. Please stay.” “It’s not like I think?! What else can it be, Yasha?” The doorkeeper came close to Benjamin. “Listen Benjamin, you’ve went a long way and I think it’s time for you to accept the reality. Change the side, come over to me, have the same advantages as everybody else that’s with me and enjoy your short life!” “What tells you that I’m not enjoying my life? Let me tell you something. I’m celebrating my life and always did! And since I’ve detected you, I’m celebrating already the future cause I know it will be without you! How can you even think about that I could change the sides. You should know me better!” “I know Benjamin you have nothing to lose anymore and that makes it difficult for me to convince you.” “Nothing to lose? You mean nothing that you can destroy! It must be frustrating for you to see me building it up again and again! And now where we know each other good, you’ve even lost the possibility to destroy it again. Believe me I’m not surprised that you try to use Yasha to convince me.” Benjamin went over to Yasha, looked in her black diamond eyes. “Trust me Yasha, that’s not a dream, that’s a nightmare and it’s expressing itself as such a nightmare from all possible perspectives. Take your time! You’ll see it too!” Benjamin embraced her and left the nightmare. “Benjamin! Come back! Please! Benjamin!”
Scene XX – 现
The Hudson River was grey, the sky was grey, everything, even the flowers looked grey. Benjamin was shaking himself like a wet dog to get rid of his memory when Yasha called him. He took a deep breath, picked up the phone call, listening. “Benjamin?” He couldn’t say anything and the silence slowly destroyed his environment and ended up as an empty grey space. “Benjamin I’m sorry!” ….. “Benjamin, say something!” “What can I say or do that could reach your conscious mind, Yasha? Unfortunately you haven’t really studied your Faust. You haven’t understood that God and Mephisto are the same guy and that both have nothing to deliver you really need! He might give you the ability to play faster than anybody else, but the breath and love you need to touch someones heart, that you’ve got from me! With his help, but it’s still coming from me!” “Benjamin believe me, I don’t want to lose your love and you won’t lose mine!” “Your love?! You just showed me that you don’t even know what that is. You don’t support. You get supported. There’s a huge difference between sending and receiving, Yasha. I’ve met to many of your kind, talking about love, the beauty of life, while you’re doing nothing else than taking advantage and running away from every responsibility! You think because of the doorkeeper there are no limits for you, that everything is reachable and end up at a simple man that finally made it happen. I don’t get you. I was sure after these last weeks you finally trust me. Listen, I need to walk now. We can talk after your concert.” “Are you coming, Benjamin? Please come!” “Sure Yasha, I’ll be there, as I promised!“
Scene XXI – 盐
Benjamin tried to find a way out of that grey empty space but couldn’t. He gave up walking, gave up thinking, gave up his senses, became one with that grey when Yasha gave him her hand to get out and to Rome where her concert started the moment he became one with her. It was like a riddance when the winds and drums reached his ears and Yasha, like Thor, hammered her first accords on the keyboard that let the piano jump. Her fingers were dancing like a sworn of finches during courtship, faster then his eyes could follow and as happy as she was by making love with him. It was like he’s standing in his own story as the audience and at the same time being part of it. He devoured each tone as if it would be the last time he can hear, devoured Yasha with his eyes as if it’s the last thing he will see and slurped her drops of sweat like it’s the salt of his life.
Scene XXII – 感
“Benjamin why didn’t you take my call after the concert. I’ve told you I’m sorry!” “Yasha, you don’t have to be sorry. You’ve made your choice or deal and that’s it. But please, I can’t go there. I feel that it rips me apart. I promised to help you out because you asked me to do so, but instead it’s sucking me in because you don’t move and continue lying or, even worse, you’re sticking your head in the sand. You have your Tchaikovsky now and it was my pleasure. It doesn’t go much better.” “Oh yeah, it felt majestic Benjamin!” “Well I hope you can keep it.” “Benjamin please, you scare me. You sound like you wanna leave me.” “I don’t know what to do, Yasha. I feel a responsibility but can’t see how I can help you without destroying myself. I haven’t talked about the past, because it ended up on a good point but now we’re falling back. I think it’s the best to take a break and when you seriously wanna take your responsibility, then I’m sure we’ll find a way to go forward to our both advantage. But as long as you continue false games there’s no way for me to go. Let’s talk when you’re back and I really would appreciate to hear your truth and that you’re acting like an adult woman.” “Does that mean that you don’t come to the concerts and dreams Benjamin?” “Guess I’m coming here and there. First I need to measure my own world. You’ll feel it.“
Scene XXIII – 爱
“Benjamin, I guess you don’t mind that I visit you?!” “I haven’t doubt that you would, Madame Tchaikovskaja! May I kiss you to welcome?!” “Oh, to friendly, mon Signor!” Benjamins kisses touched her lips like feathers on a discovery of her desires, detected one among the other, while Yasha enjoyed that he fulfilled them. She was like wax in his hands, looked like the content of Venus, moved like a panther on the hunt, smelled like roses after rain and sounded like wind in the trees.
Scene XXIV – 搜
“Benjamin wake up, you’re dreaming!” “Please Pinky give me ten more minutes!” Benjamin turned around, covered his had with the bedsheets and went back to his dream, Yasha in his arms. “I love to come to your dreams Benjamin. I feels like bathing in you, surfing on rainbows and flying with the clouds on a stormy day.” Benjamins hands were levitating over her back, landed like eagles on their nest and touched her skin like bees a flower. “Yasha, what can we do that your conductors understand that you’re telling the story and the other instruments of the orchestra are the background colors of your tale and not the bedsheets that cover up a love affair? You’re playing piano concertos and they conduct symphonies without even having a story and bathing in their fake vain emotions that produce nothing but noise.” Yasha was laughing and kissed his eyes. “No really I get angry when I hear them smashing your unknown glory with their common ‘you’re looking great’!” “Oh Benjamin, that’s probably a fight I will never win. They always tell their own story, no matter how profane it is. I need to go now, Benjamin. See you tonight!“
Scene XXV – 自由
“Do you know that you’re talking when you’re dreaming, Benjamin? Be careful, somebody might hear it!” “Yes I know, Pinky. In Germany we say: little children and dreamer tell the truth.” “It goes: Drunk and little children tell the truth Benjamin!” “Did I say anything wrong?” “Not that I know! But you know how it is with the truth, nobody wants to hear it.” “That’s why I wrap it in tales!” Pinky looked at Benjamin as if he’s waiting for more to hear, scratched his forehead, his beard and his butt. “Pinky!” “Don’t tell Yasha that I did that. She hates it when I scratch my butt!” “I’ll keep it secret, Pinky.” “Benjamin let’s make a little trip. I was never at the Statue of Liberty. It’s a wonderful sunny day and I don’t come often out here.” “That’s a good idea, Pinky. Let me take a shower and talk to Yasha for a moment.”
Scene XXVI – 剧院
“Ok Pinky, let’s go. But hey, don’t speak when we’re outside! People would get scared.” “No worries, Benjamin. Just hold me close to your ear.” They went along the Hudson River and took the boat over to Liberty Island. Pinky was so exited that he couldn’t stop whispering in Benjamins ear, most of the time way to loud, so the people around them started to wondering what’s going on. Benjamin started acting like he’s a ventriloquist with the effect that all the children on the boat came closer and enjoyed the free puppet show. Pinky was in his element, started signing like Pavarotti and it didn’t take long that the whole boat was partying the situation. When they arrived at Liberty Island, almost everyone gave Benjamin and Pinky some dollars to thank for the great show before they left the boat. “Hey Pinky, we could make a living out of that. What you think?” “I’m on board, Benjamin!” “Ok, done deal Pinky!”
Scene XXVII – 欺骗
“Wow Benjamin, that’s quite an impressive statue, that Madame Liberty!” “Yeah Pinky and as liberty is counted among the most sublime feelings, so the corresponding disillusionment can be also sublime.” “Yeah Benjamin, I, for sure, know about that feeling. Can we go up there in her head?” “Sure, Pinky. It’s probably a great experience to stay in the head, or let’s say, the idea of liberty, since most of the time we’re already lucky to find an escape.” As they arrived in the head and took a look out off that head of Madame Liberty they both were quite for some minutes and enjoyed the view. “You know Benjamin, I don’t think that people are free. Most people I’ve met act like remote-controlled!” “That’s actually true, Pinky. There’s a force working in all of us that we call ego and that doesn’t belong to us and this beautiful planet. It’s the source of all problems we face and that let us act against our own interests, but we still have the impression of liberty and free will.” “Yeah isn’t that crazy?! You humans act almost like extraterrestrials without any mercy for life!” “Yes, Pinky. We, or better, the ego is build in its creators face! No mercy at all!”
Scene XXVIII – 我们是谁
“That would make sense Benjamin, I mean the idea that you guys actually don’t know what you do. It’s absolutely illogical that the peak of evolution becomes the destroyer of that evolution and life.” “Exactly Pinky, we don’t know what we do and it’s written in our history books. The problem is that a species, that defines itself over free will, has a hard time to accept that there is no such thing as free will. Even when we find evidence, our ego just declares it as a fairytale or a measurement that we can’t explain. Who are we, when we’re not us? That’s a hard question to take! But the answer would solve all problems we have. You look different at the world when you realize that the destruction is not made by us and that we’re just victims of that second soul in our breast! You know Pinky, that force is very sneaky, knows everything and takes place in us to let us do it’s work! It feeds us with ideas and it looks like we’re building it the weapon that destroys us as a species and subject the earth!” “But why, Benjamin?” “There are two explanations and both happen at the same time. First, it needs energy. It’s a 2 dimensional force and one cannot create energy in 2 dimensions. Second, an existence in 2 dimensions is not really fun. There are no feelings. If you have all knowledge of the existing universe you probably want to participate in this wonderful life! But enough for now Pinky. Let’s enjoy that life and give these guys here a little Pink Panther show.”
Scene XXIX – 心
Pinky and Benjamin had a great time, laughed a lot, enjoyed the show, made some dollars, went back to NY with the ship and walked along the Hudson River. “Benjamin, that second soul in humans breast, how does it take place there? I mean that’s a big change and should be detected when it’s happen.” “During puberty, Pinky. We have evidence that our brains are completely restructured after puberty and all of a sudden most of us end up in a desperation state, ready to hurt ourselves and the people around us. Btw, we’re the only species on earth that has such a restructured brain and nobody would have children if we were like that when we’re born. We explain that change with the change of the body and nobody asks why we’re the only one that end up as killers of almost everything. Everybody that could have an idea about it is already under the influence of that ego, so the enemy has all power to hide itself. But many of us detected it. Our history books are full of them. Unfortunately most of them ended up in a madhouse cause until now there was no explanation that’s stronger and can explain the lies of the ego in others.” “How did you found out what’s going on?” “Information can’t get lost! That means everything that ever happened is as an information still available. I’ve collected for years evidence out off the different scientific fields, our history and myths, where you can actually find the most information. Hidden in tales and foggy. So I’ve changed my perspective to the case over decades and suddenly the picture showed up, and every cell in my body knew it’s the truth. Exupéry says, one can only see the truth with the heart, the essential is invisible for your eyes! That’s true, but if you can’t proof it, you’re doomed, Pinky.”
Scene XXX – 团结一致
When Benjamin was talking about the heart, he could feel that Yasha took place in him, embracing his own heart. She didn’t say anything, like most of the time when she left her own body and united with Benjamin. She was just there, gave him all her love, looked through his left eye to see what Benjamin saw. She was a powerful spirit, directed Benjamin on his way to the truth and many times he had the feeling she’s also talking through him. It always made him smile when she did that. It felt warm, secure and gave him the silence he needed to go forward. For Benjamin it was clear from the very first moment, which is now almost two years ago, that they must be the two elements of the one force we call creation; information and movement, singing and dancing! Sometimes she was the singer and Benjamin the dancer and sometimes Yasha danced and he sung. Like Quaoar, the creator force in the Tongva myth, they sung and danced a new world into existence.
Scene XXXI – 平静
Benjamins life, ever since he detected the doorkeeper, was like driving roller coaster. There were days everything was clear, he knew what to do, felt strong enough to fight the doorkeeper and others when the doorkeeper as the ego took over and then there was only darkness. Sometimes this change happened during hours back and forth. The two souls in his breast were fighting an ultimate fight. Benjamin knew that love is the answer but he also wanted to kick that fucker, knock him out and end his destruction. Yasha was mad with Benjamin that he couldn’t control that ego and just shut up what he finally did the moment he thought about.
Scene XXXII – 拥抱
Benjamin just wanted to take a shower when Yasha called. “How are you doing, Benjamin? You’ve no idea how much I’m missing you!” “Oh yes I do cause I miss my two black diamonds too, Yasha. But as you could read did I had a great time with Pinky. But I’m not really doing good. Sorry that I didn’t stay the full time at all of the concerts. The time difference makes it just really difficult sometimes. But as much as I’ve heard was just, what’s the word, sublime!” “Thank you! And please, no worries, Benjamin. I know you’re busy too. Yesterday there were two people asking about your writing.” “Oh really? What did you say?” “You can guess two times.” “I’ve never hear about that guy or that’s my future husband!” “Hahahaha, oh Benjamin I love you. Actually I’ve said we’re saving the world together!” “Hahahaha, that’s my girl!” “You know I don’t care. And I accept that it’s important for you to write. I’m enjoying it myself, but you need to be careful with the doorkeeper. Just keep him out of the game for now. Your time will come and you should be prepared. Concentrate on your art work. That’s the main goal!” “I know Yasha. Can I come to your dream tonight?” “Sure! Don’t ask, just come, Benjamin!”
Scene XXXIII – 听
Benjamin just wanted to enter Yashas dream when he slept in. Yasha herself couldn’t sleep and came to Benjamins dream instead. “Benjamin, I haven’t said ‘keep the doorkeeper out for now’, I’ve said keep him out forever’! You can’t fight him directly! For example that dream you had, me sitting at the piano and the doorkeeper next to me. That wasn’t me! You know he’s sneaky! Every time you deal with him you become part of his dark force! You need to stay away, no matter how difficult it is for you! Just trust me on that. It’s time for you to really go forward with your art work. Go over the texts again. You’ll feel what’s right and wrong. And if not, then just ask me. And when you’re done with that, you can go out and present it to the right people. You’ll meet them automatically because they’re already waiting for you! Be focused! We both know what it is all about now! It’s about love and only love! So please stay there like I do. Don’t look left or right because you’re wasting you’re time. And time becomes relevant now! And please do me another favor. Listen to me, like I listen to you!“
Scene XXXIV – 原谅
“What are we doing today Benjamin?” “Your choice Pinky.” “Ok. How about a walk on the beach in Long Island?” “Sounds good to me, Pinky. I never went there. Don’t forget your bathing suits!” “I don’t have one, Benjamin. Yasha never bought me one. She says I’m cute as I am.” “That’s right Pinky, you’re the cutest.” They went to rent a car, drove over to the end of Long Island, went to the beach and listened to the ocean. “How’s Yasha doing, Benjamin?” “She was mad with me and censored the text about the conductors!” “Oh, what did you write?” “Well, I can’t repeat, otherwise I get censored again and she probably shows me the red flag!” “You better be careful then. She has an enormous memory and never forget but also likes to forgive.” “Good to know, Pinky. I’ve said a lot in the last 21 month that better should be forgiven. It’s really difficult to say the truth without hurting people and I often get the wrong tone too, which is even worse when you say it to a musician.” “No worries, Benjamin! It looks like she forgave you already everything, otherwise we wouldn’t sit here. How about you, did you forgive her whatever she did?” “I never blamed her, so there’s nothing to forgive. Whatever happens to me, I see it as my own actions. So I need to blame and forgive myself, which I constantly do. You know, there are probably not many faults I haven’t done yet.“
Scene XXXV – 感
“Thank you, Benjamin!” “I’m sorry, Yasha. I know I shouldn’t talk about everything I think, nor what you say.” “Just keep others out of it. They won’t understand what’s going on!” “How do you feel today?” “I can’t exactly describe. The concerts are overwhelming and I’m sometimes so exhausted that I can’t even give any encores and want to keep these feeling I just had and listen to the tones these feelings produced for hours. I’m in trance, describes it probably the best.” “Yes it looks like, I saw some pictures today. It reminded me…” “No! Benjamin please, there must be some secrets!” “Really? Why? We’re already naked. Don’t tell me you’re becoming shy now!” “Not shy, but…., you know what I mean.” “Actually I don’t. Must be something wrong with me today. Perhaps I felt on my head.” “Then do it again and you’ll be ok! How are your rips?” “Healing I guess. Yasha, I thought about that dream last night….” “No Benjamin, please!” “What the heck, Yasha! That’s really important for me and as I understood it’s important for you too!” “Yes it’s important but as i just said, there must be some secrets!” “How can I handle it as a secret? There are already three people knowing about it!” “Benjamin! Please!” “Ok Yasha. Btw, I’ll be at your concert today the full time. I took a day off to work on the gallery today.” “Mmmmmhhhh…. I can’t wait!” “Ok, feel you soon!” “Feel you soon!“
Scene XXXVI – 深度
“Benjamin what’s wrong? You slept in!” “That’s how I react when it’s boring, Yasha. I go or I sleep in. Unfortunately I slept in before I could go! I hope I didn’t snore.” “Fortunately you didn’t!” “Yasha, deepest intimacy, and that’s the only thing I’m interested in, is only possible between two people. Surface is just boring. Do whatever you want, but let me out of cheap satisfaction. I make love as art if you don’t mind and somehow I was sure that this is the deal between us!” “Sometimes I really hate your arrogance, Benjamin!” “That’s not arrogant, Yasha, that’s how I live my life. I go deep and as I understood that’s why you came to me. Arrogant is that you don’t even ask. No, you try to surprise me! As if I could be surprised about flat surfaces.” The following silence was heartbreaking. The light in their eyes went out and the colors, that only them knew, became different kind of grey. Benjamin took Yasha in his arms, which she first rejected, then enjoyed and finally loved. They didn’t talk the rest of the night, touched each other as if it’s the first time and for Benjamin always was. For him, Yasha was always new like a rough diamond whose beauty he wanted to discover, to see the brightest lights, listen to its deepest sounds and touch its fragile elegance.
Scene XXXVII – 艺术
When Benjamin woke up, pinky was looking at him with a smile on his face and a raised eyebrow. “Good morning Pinky. What’s up?” “Benjamin I can’t believe that she didn’t run away!” “Where shall she run, Pinky? She won’t find me in any other man!” “That’s for sure. I’ve met a lot and none of them was even close to you. They’ve touched her like a piece of meat, always looking for their own satisfaction, left her behind like a trophy they can put on their shelf with her saddest face and tears enough to fill an ocean!” “What you expect? You can’t go deep when you’re always on the road.” “Yeah I think that’s the main problem, she has no home.” “Well, that’s her choice and she thinks there’s no other option. I’ve told her over a year ago, when she was still hiding behind her avatars, as if I haven’t detected who she really is, that there’s no way she ever can go deep. This industry is just sick! They’ve made out of art a competition of the fastest, wildest, prettiest and sexiest! Art is about a possible world and not about the existing. It’s about discovering things nobody know yet. But they’ve made a mirror of the existing world out of it. All is competition, all is surface and almost nowhere you find a story you don’t know already, of they tell a story at all. Now she’s studying the Goldberg Variations and I’m wondering why. Does she have a story for that? Anything else than faster and sexier than anybody else before? I truly doubt it!” “She won’t like to hear that, Benjamin!” “I don’t care if she likes it or not. There are no compromises when it comes to art! I’m tiered of vanity, glory, thrills and fast satisfaction. I want to see, hear, feel and experience a world, more beautiful than I could imagine! Yasha has the talent to show up with that and I hope she understands that with this talent comes a responsibility. The responsibility to go as deep as possible. But she can’t find it by changing the hotel rooms, parties and lovers like others change their underwear. In a year or two there will be other Wunderkinder, faster than her and with shorter dresses and the audience will give a fuck about Yasha!” “I hear you Benjamin and hope that Yasha listen too!”
Scene XXXVIII – 内在的真理
“Yes Benjamin, I hear you too. You know that I’m always listening and my new Tchaikovsky is probably the best example. And yes I won’t find you in any other man but I’ll find something else. Something you don’t have.” “Sure, Yasha. We’re all different and I’m absolutely fine with the fact that you’re searching and I wish that it makes you happy what you find. All I ask is that you keep me out of it. You will not see me jealous nor will you see me desperate if you leave. My love depends on supporting you and not on the fulfillment of my desires. If you find another and better story, go with it. You know my door was always open for your talent and for you as a person. I can’t see that I’ll change that. That’s my responsibility and I’m willing to take it.” “Oh Benjamin, who are you?” “Well I’m the man that you disown ever since you broke into my life. The man that you tried to destroy and that saved you instead. I’m the man that you love and you don’t even know why. And I’m the man that loves you like nobody can ever do. I thought, by now, you know why. Well, you’ll find out.” “I don’t know what to do anymore, Benjamin.” “Listen to your heart! That’s what I do. There’s nothing that’s worth to calculate!“
Scene XXXIX – 饶恕
“What’s up Pinky?” “Well, Benjamin you’re playing with a high risk.” “I’m not playing at all Pinky! That’s Yashas problem not mine and the moment she’s facing the results of her games she’s acting like a coward. I should have told her when she was here, but I didn’t want to destroy the presence with the past. Now I see that was a fault. I should have put everything on the table, once and forever.” “Well I don’t know about the past. I guess you won’t tell me?” “No I won’t. Come on, let’s go out. How about a little Pink Panther show?” “You got me Benjamin!” They just wanted to leave the house when Yasha called. “Benjamin, can you please stop writing? It drives me crazy when I can read everything I’ve said fife minutes later on social media!” Benjamin need some time to answer. “No, Yasha I won’t. Otherwise I become the feeling I’m hallucinating. And wasn’t it your rule to let the pants down? No secrets! That were your words!” “That was the past Benjamin. We know everything now. Why can’t you just stop it?” “Because you’re still not taking your responsibility. It’s you that won’t let me go, not the other way around. How many times did you come back, starting your games over and over? I can’t even count it anymore. I thought there’s an end of the games now and you’re starting to face the reality of your deeds, and minimum confess when you’re in front of a mirror, but instead you’re starting a new game show. Well, I’m ready!” “Ok Benjamin I confess and I’m really sorry what I did. And I’m even more sorry that I did it to the man that loves me like nobody else ever did. I did a huge mistake Benjamin and I please you to forgive me!” Benjamin couldn’t talk. He was silently crying into an emptiness he never felt before. “Benjamin? Benjamin!?” “Yasha you need to forgive yourself to end it. I forgave long time ago but you didn’t believe. I hope you’ll do it now!”
Scene XL – 钻石
“What now Benjamin?” “Now I’m free, Pinky.” “You leave?” “I was never really here, Pinky. I was prison in her dreams. But now I’m free!”
Scene XLI – 答案
“Benjamin, can you please delete the last scene? I don’t want that it ends like that!” “How shall it end, Yasha? What’s your goal?” “I think it should never end! That’s what you promised!” “Love will never end, Yasha. That’s the nature of love and that’s what I promised. So what else are you asking for?” “Just give me more time please.” “How much and for what? Where you wanna go? I gave you already 2 years and told you very clear where I wanna go. I want you to leave your criminal friends!” “It’s two years on the 26th of July Benjamin.” “I know Yasha. That day is burned in my mind.” “Can you tell me again what you want, Benjamin.” “I want to have my physical life back! I can’t live in your virtual world and your dreams, just because you fear your deeds and reality. There’s no art for art! My art gets fed by my private life and then this art supports my life! I’m first a human being! And that’s what I establish first. So tell me where you want to go, or if you want to stay in your dreams.” Yasha felt that she’s in a dilemma, well ‘Zwickmühle’ is the better word. When she don’t answer, then that was it. If she answers, then there’s no other way to go. She knew where she wanted to go, she had it on her tongue, but she feared if she’s once there, that she could lose it again. She was full of fear, had all reasons to fear and Benjamin didn’t know how to take it away. They listen to their breath for over an hour, but Yasha couldn’t say anything. “What happened to you Yasha, that you fear reality so much and rather stay in a dream?” “The doorkeeper!” “Please Yasha, he has no power without us. We both know that. There’s no matrix! We saw what it really is. We were there! Again what’s your goal? Do you want to live a real life? Yasha, there’s no way that I stay in a dream. We can only be at one place and mine is in reality! And this reality is not an illusion. We know the doorkeeper influences it as we can see at your deeds, but it’s still our world and he has to follow the rules of the physical world! You can leave, don’t forget!” Yasha still couldn’t answer and another hour of listening to her breath went by. “Please give me one more day, Benjamin! I promise I’ll answer by then!“
Scene XLII – 恶魔
“Oh Yasha, you should have gone with the other end. There was hope for you! I’ve told you don’t fall back. These poor guys gets used from you trying to hurt me. I’m not hurt but I’m mad that others get hurt because of me. I’ve told you, you won’t see me jealous nor desperate. You’ve lied from the very beginning and I can’t see that you’ll ever stop! You belong to the doorkeeper that’s pretty clear and there’s no way that I can safe you anymore. You were out but you went back! I don’t get it. You weren’t sorry that you tried to kill me! I have it on fucking tape! You weren’t sorry that you killed my friend! Well, your friend Xiao calls it collateral damage! I call it murder! You weren’t sorry that you threatened my assistant to death! You weren’t sorry that you hacked my computer and manipulated my social media accounts! You weren’t sorry about the surveillance of my private space with cameras! You weren’t sorry that you stole, betrayed, lied, smuggled and killed! You weren’t sorry for what you did to Marta to start your career! No, you probably did it twice! How many victims pave your track? I’m pretty sure that I take you down from your throne now, before there’s more collateral damage! I really wanted to help you out Yasha! You might look like an angel, but you’re pure evil! Yasha! Mir graut’s vor dir!
Scene XLIII – 饵
“Benjamin what are you doing? Please stop that!” “No Yasha I won’t. This story needs to end! I want my life back and since you won’t give it to me, I’ll take it myself. I wanted to help you from day one, because I saw you’re in big trouble and somehow I have the feeling, deep in your heart you want me to end your and my nightmares. You had so many chances to let me go. Why didn’t you let me go? Why?! A single word would have been enough. One single word! Sorry!” “Benjamin I’m sorry! Please! Benjamin!” “No you’re not sorry and we both know that. I’m meeting with Igor now and see what else he has to deliver. You’ll fall because you never listened and always lied. You remember when that started, and you were still hidden, I’ve told all of you guys, I’ll be the only one that will give you a hand when your down. Remember when you hit the ground! You couldn’t imagine that the man you tried to kill can forgive you. But I did and I’ve never lied to you! Never! The point is you won’t stop your games, were people die, just because you’re able to do it. You’re a murder Yasha! And this is the worst I’ve ever needed to do. You didn’t understand my love. Probably you just don’t know what love is and can’t recognize it when you’re in front of it. I didn’t want you, you wanted me and played the bait to catch and kill me. I’ve defended you against Igor time after time to rescue you. Well the shark is going to eat that bait now.“
Scene XLIV – 血液
Benjamin couldn’t feel anything on his walk, that didn’t feel like walking, along the Hudson River. The water seemed to cry and the sun colored the sky blood red. It was cold, a little windy, people were jogging, children playing, some birds signing and the ground under Benjamins feet seemed to move from alone. Yasha tried to contact him again and again but Benjamin wasn’t able to open up. He was in Yashas blood filled space, that he will leave soon, saying goodbye to that world of illusions, lies and death. He felt like a ghost, his memories seemed to be unreal but hammered with each heartbeat into his brain.
Scene XLV – 弱点
“Benjamin, you know what? Do whatever you want. Nobody will believe you!” “Yasha, everybody will believe Martha! That’s your weak point! The woman on which shoulders you reached the sky. You’ve done it twice to her and that’s right there one time to much! There are witnesses, Yasha, real people, no data that you can delete, no, real people! You have way to many dead bodies in your closet and I’m sure they all show up! I tried to stop you, take you out, start new, present you your chance. But no, you’re to vain to see when you’re trapped! I didn’t wanted shit from you. I had mercy with that lost little girl in you. What shall I get from a woman that wanted to kill me? Yes I love you, and I’ve wrote you the best stories for your concerts, because I can love my enemies. I know that they don’t know what they do! How can I judge them. All I wanted was that you guys stop your criminal deeds.” “I should have let them kill you, Benjamin!” “You tried it 4 times and couldn’t get it done! Now it’s too late, Yasha! Everybody knows who you are! They can read it here!”
Scene XLVI – 倒计时
“Benjamin I’ve told you to take her down month ago. You should have listened to me! She’s an absolute criminal. But I’m not sure if she’s just a common one, cause I’ve investigated some stuff that would fit in a way bigger picture!” “What else did you find, Igor?” “Well, there are some things that made me wonder. I’ve listened to that record from Disney Hall again and again. She’s permanently talking to that other Chinese woman, and says 31 times in 8 minutes that she don’t know you and never met! Not one word is direct to you! Only when she’s leaving she points you, and again with the same words! We have never met, right?! I mean that makes no sense. You’ve met her just 2 weeks before in SF, gave her that letter that she never answered, which is weird too, but one thing is for sure, after that letter she needs to remember you! Anyway, I’ve checked that woman and there’s something wrong with her.” “What’s wrong with her?” “She has an enormous influence like nobody else and Yasha is acting like a servant when she’s around. And she’s not always around just here and there. Well that behavior doesn’t fit to Yasha at all. Anywhere else she’s the queen but when that woman is around she’s completely different. Did you ever thought that Yasha could be a spy?” “What? A spy? Hahahaha, oh Igor that’s a good one! You mean a Chinese secret agent?” “Don’t laugh Benjamin. I’m serious! Benjamin there are things happening that only make sense if it’s like that.” “Come on Igor!” “Well, start at the beginning. Why should any mother give her only child away, to a foreign country, at the age of 13, when she can have the same education at home? Probably even better. I’m sure she had to go. No mother that I know would do what she did. It’s the perfect background and nobody would ever question it. We know she’s smuggling stuff. She’s traveling the world. We know she has a gun. We know that she acts like she’s absolutely safe, no matter what she does. I mean I’ve got the feeling she wants to be captured, as vain as she’s acting. And it’s obvious that she tells the truth with her music.” “I don’t know Igor. The only situation I know that fit in that picture is Disney Hall.” “Well, does that situation fit anywhere else?” “Igor!” “Im serious Benjamin! I’m not wondering about anything anymore when it comes to that girl.”
Scene XLVII – 听
“Benjamin, please! What shall I do that you stop? Please Benjamin tell me!” “I’ve told Yasha! I’ve told you since two years! Look in my eyes and apologize. There you can see what you’ve done. You won’t believe your own deeds before you face them! You need to understand what you’ve done, Yasha. Otherwise you’ll never stop. You need to understand that you’re destroying people. I know you think they are not worth their life. But are you? Are you worth your talent? Are you worth the gifts you’ve got?” “You’re just the dwarf that couldn’t get me and now you take revanche.” “I never wanted you Yasha! You’re a child and I try to make a responsible woman out of you! And no, I don’t like the way you lie! I’m just your teacher, in every aspect of your life. You wanted me and you came to me! I’ve just took my responsibility.” “Your responsibility?” “Yes, it’s my responsibility to safe you and your talent. And as I remember, we’ve done great art together. I think you still have a chance and that’s why I’m still writing. I’m your only chance to escape but unfortunately you have no ears to listen. A musician that don’t listen. Oh Yasha where shall that end?”
Scene XLVIII – 镜子
Benjamin went to his work were he could find silence and in this silence probably the right door he’s trying to build since month, where Yasha will finally go through. What a coincidence that he was building real wooden doors for castles. “So Benjamin, you say you didn’t want me. You don’t have desire? What are your stories then all about?” “Yasha, you needed love stories and I delivered them. But these are my stories, that all happened in my life with real beautiful and wonderful woman. I only changed the names to make you feel the way they felt. But for you it’s only a dream, kind of real, but still just a dream. It won’t happen to you in reality, because you’re still a child and you’re looking for might over others. You need to have control and the moment you don’t have control, you’re falling apart, like all the times we’ve met. You’re far away from the woman you could be, and even more from the woman I was with. You have no love, you only have desire for love and that’s what I gave you. I fulfilled your wildest dreams. But Yasha, it’s a dream!” “Why do you say that Benjamin?” “Because that’s your truth, Yasha! And as you know I only go with the truth. I might wrapt it in tales, but it’s still the truth. I listened, I watched for two years and that monster you’re hiding showed up here and there. Just for a second but I saw it every time it showed up. You should get rid of it or it will destroy you! Because that’s the nature of all evil, in its last consequence it destroys itself! Look with open eyes at the mirror and you’ll see it too!”
Scene XLIX – 棋
Benjamin went out to meet a friend, have some drinks and forget for some hours about Yasha, but unfortunately the first thing his friend was talking about were his posts. Yasha really took all his time and somehow there was no escape. “Man, I just read your last scenes, don’t you think you’re to harsh, Benjamin. I don’t know that girl, but hey there must be something left that’s good. You know at the very end she’s also a human being with emotions!” “Marlin, I’m not sure whom it hurts more to put the cards on the table, Yasha or myself. To spend almost two years 24/7 in someone’s education and rescue, and then you end up with empty hands, because there’s no movement, that’s very frustrating.” “Well then let her go if she don’t get it.” “She don’t let me go, Marlin. That’s the point. I can’t see it any different anymore than that she wants to hear the truth as harsh as possible. She wants to know that I know everything about her, but still love and support her. It’s like she’s playing chess and can’t believe that she lost. The problem is she’s reaching a point, were the only thing that will be left, is to catch her after the fall and before she hits the ground. She’s a little slow when it comes to her situation. She’s closing her eyes and what she can’t see, that just don’t exists.” “You should take a break, Benjamin. If that’s the truth what you’re writing, and that’s how I know you, you’re telling the truth without any ornaments, then I can’t see anything you can do right now. She’s in the corner and needs to realize her situation. Let’s have some Margaritas.“
Scene L – 过去
Benjamin went through his conversations with Yasha and found these quotes of her:
“Clear-thinking & accessible expression are existential luxuries that yield to good language. & good communications humans aren’t nodes enrobed in lard, that wears out when you skip a few meals… So, they can’t be transformed from a naive state unfit for survival to a state of supreme supremacy.
It is crazy because of your record with the shrinks.
But it takes time to learn quantum dynamics in a physical heartfelt fashion. Our bones are brittle relative to our rays
When one senses the beam at multiple foci loci
One reports it as a cohesive sensory phenomenon not quite a symptom
Some report a criminal adventure as the experience of a particle in a wind tunnel
Stalling is like an illusion of motionlessness
The air is liquid
I have a fine bottle of white wine, with cyanide at comfortable dosages, I wonder if a psychiatrist will make a buck misjudging that pronouncement! I choose the absence of pain over all else, so I walk away in abandon, nor despoir
I guess anything beats pleading guilty to a ponzi ran outa the caymans, eh. False cures like that in our godless courts. You could walk into the police clinic & report yourself as a victim of sameness
Banged around in a skull encased, the mind is life. Not an interview.
Vampire under soil is evocative of something too bottled up to utter
& that’s a lesson for the ages. Platonically it was clear to me. It needn’t have involved such wicked ways but where a bloodsucker bit, there’s no flight back, no sutures, no healing, no wounds for a howl, so when a new moon rose, a mythical creature was born, incomplete, universal, omnipotent & this is in whose hallowed name & by whose knowing wand our rain it turns blood into gold, since the days of old. As for who we choose to crush into wine, yours is the sword! My word, as good as anyone’s. My heart, why as cold as you’re bold. The rest in my cup I hold, for the thirsty I pour, & for the poor I gore;
I don’t want to misrepresent myself, but ultimately I’m very fond of Melbourne, & it’d be impossible for other to approximate that state of fondness cuz they are so removed from their human nature, due to the poison in their mothers milky
Also if you choose to go off, live that way & follow that darkness to its source, given time, you’ll fade as will the rest of us, turn in to dust, but maybe new winds in new morons will hush new words, & you’ll help with the rot
There’s time to kill.
I’m brought up as the face of the law that couldn or won’t be bribed cause they’re bankrupt anyway, but don’t you hate it when a bubble bully ltransits to hospical
So geese can stay above ground & maggots stay beneath.
It soaked up right away, but the aftertaste was so yummy
Unclog the shower head with a tooth pick tomorrow’s chore, but menial
I was never rewired in a design sense. So the iq level didn’t stoop to matronly
The war is over they are celebrating newly allowed manhood & the fall of the mob & the biting girls.
There’s no reset, just a deafening silent & then a corpse goes something stupid
Grand! Outstanding too. It was always a financial crash, & protracted depression. Only the robbers wanted sugarcoat. Now for lack of a scandal, they buy time but time is up, uh… New handling of the affairs is a mirage of an expectation
Asked for the trim job, but never materialized according to demand so I just don’t see it.
Guess we gunna amp it up. Jam time now.
Mind control in the cue is what star wars jackasses wanna stick reasonable people with. That’s not proper for a liberal white”
“Well Yasha, unfortunately you haven’t changed since you’ve told me all that. I can’t see how to help you anymore. Tell me, what you think to do?”
Scene LI – 下
“How long do you want to stay in that corner, Yasha?” “Until the storm is over?” “Yeah you’re in a bad situation. Enemies wherever you look and the only friend you have you can’t see. You know that you’re a danger for your gang now, because you’ll sing like a bird and they know it. So what’s your options? Poison and kill Martha? I know you thought about it but that’s a bad idea! I know you were able to kill my friend. But your own?! That’s a different story. And on top there are two orchestras that know what’s happened and surprisingly you were around to help out and start your career. You should have wait until your time comes. But no for Yasha there are no limits. You can steal, which was the first thing you did to me when you came to my theatre by stealing my design of my black and red angels for your LP. You can betray and lie, what you do to everybody. You can threaten people to death, which you did to my assistant. You can hack the computers of your management, your mother and mine. Yasha, is there any crime you haven’t done?” “Well I should have killed you, Benjamin, but unfortunately I failed.” “Four times, Yasha. Four times! Because you’re to vain and arrogant, Yasha, and you don’t know shit about life. And, you never listened when I’ve told you how it will end if you don’t stop. You wasted you’re wonderful talent to become a criminal. What a mess, Yasha. How could you believe that I’ll let you run away with it. You’ve tried to kill me and now we’re watching your fall, which is not only deep, it’s also taking a long time because you’re so young!”
Scene LII – 未来
“Are you ready, Yasha?” “Not really Benjamin. Somehow I still hope you’re the giant that saves me.” “Yeah, I hoped that too, Yasha, but there’s no way to save you anymore. You’ll drink your wine and then you go. Don’t worry, you’ve said it won’t hurt. I’ll read about in the news, am sad for a short moment and go back to my life.” “Can you come to the pier to say goodbye, Benjamin?” “No Yasha, you’ll die alone.”