Benjamin Bloom is based on the true crimes, born in the sick mind of Alex Gansa (screenwriter and producer of the TV series HOMELAND), which happened to the artist HP Trauschke during his work on Seven from Heaven. Alex Gansa hacked himself into HP Trauschke’s privacy stole his artwork and influenced his social media and email traffic. Based on such crimes, Alex Gansa writes his screenplays.
To defend and save himself, HP Trauschke created and played the art figure Benjamin Bloom and wrote over 3 years an art-dairy.
This is Book II
The phone wouldn’t stop to ring and Benjamin didn’t want to take the call, for him it was just to early to spend time with his enemies, but Igor didn’t give up until Benjamin finally hit the button. „Hi Igor, my sweet butcher, what gives me the pleasure of your call?“ „ Benjamin, it feels good to hear your voice after such a long time. I know I promised not to call you, but I think it’s in your very own interest that I do so. Listen, this sucker from the Glasshouse wants to start a new attack and I think we should take action. He didn’t understand that you’re done with him and left him to his fate. It seems he did not understood that he lost the game. He don’t know what I and my crew did during the last 3 1/2 month and I guess he thinks he’s still master of the game.“ „What does that mean, he wants to start a new attack? On me? Is he really even more stupid than he already proved that he is?“ Benjamin was mad. He couldn’t believe that this idiot really did not understood that his time is already over. That he lost all his power and that any action from his side would be the end of this rapist and his stupid big brother, that is not strong enough to kick that butt out I’m of his business before it’s ruined. „What do you know, Igor?“ „Well, enough to let you know that we should act now and take him out for the final film. BTW, did you watch the other ones? You never answered and did not even react in any way?“ „You know that I saw them“, Benjamin said „and I’m very proud of you. It’s to sad that only a couple of people will ever see them.“ „Yes, that’s the sad part, but believe me we had the time of our lives and every customer was more than satisfied and all of them wanted to have more. You know how it is, when they once licked blood, then they can’t get enough! BTW, we made sure that none of the victims remembers whats happened to them. We followed in every way your instructions!“ „I missed you Igor, you know that and it’s great to talk to you. I dived into solitude and took care about myself. So what you want to do?“ „Benjamin, you know that I can’t tell you on the phone, I’m in NY and observed you the last 2 days to find out where you go and where we could meet. Go to the place you where yesterday at 11pm I left you a message where we can meet.“ „Ok, Igor, I knew somebody is watching me. Good to know that my senses are still on top. See you later. Oh can you bring some Vodka please, I haven’t had a drink since weeks.“ „Sure anything you want. Btw, I was not the only one that is watching you!“ Benjamin hang up. NOT THE ONLY ONE.
Benjamin went to the place he was yesterday at 11pm and found Igor’s message. He wanted to meet over in Jersey City at the Liberty Park and pleased Benjamin to let all his phones at home or make sure that they are not close to him. Benjamin decided to give it to a friend and went to JC.
„Hi Igor, it’s good to see you. Give me a hug, I really need one!“ Igor didn’t say a word and took Benjamin in his arms and for Benjamin the first second felt like an infinite time. Suddenly he became aware how lonely he was the last view month and how good the beat of another heart felt close to his own. Still holding each other Benjamin started to talk. „Listen Igor, I can’t go into that. I’ve controlled my mind the last view month like never before. I stood away from any kind of destruction and I can’t even think that I care any second about these people. You know, they actually did me a big favor and I forgave each of them because even if they thought they know what they did, none of them really did know. I wanted to call you after the first couple of videos and ask you to stop, but I knew that there would be no way to stop you. So I just let it happen and felt sorry for all of them. You know, Igor, these people might have acted like my enemies but they aren’t. My enemy, our enemy, is something else and these people actually showed me what that enemy is and how it works.“ „What’s new with Yasha? Did you have any contact to her?“ „No, how could I. Each time we’ve met was just horrible. She’s lying to me and I can’t understand why. She’s still coming to my dreams and let me come to her’s, but every time I want to talk about the reason that she lies, she breaks up, has a thousand excuses and let me back with more questions. So I just let her do whatever she wants to do. I’m here and she comes and goes like she wants. I don’t ask anymore and sometimes I think she really has no answer. She’s surprised about all what’s happened, like I was and still am. And on top of it she seems to be full of fear which makes me very sad because this fear is also related to me.“ Igor pressed Benjamin strong on his heart and they silently watched the bloody sky. Benjamin’s head was empty, he couldn’t think of anything. There was only the bloody sky and Igors heartbeat and some tears that suddenly dropped on Igors shoulder. „Benjamin, you are the strongest guy I ever met and I think now I know why you’re so strong. You allow yourself, no you celebrate it, to be also weak and you have no problems to show it. But its hard for me to feel your sadness because you’re the little brother to me, that I never had.“ Benjamin was smiling and whispered in Igors ear: „Lets walk a bit, my big brother! I want to tell you the story of the space rider.“
“Before you start Benjamin, have some of the promised Russian Vodka and listen for 5 minutes to me. Ok?” Benjamin smiled. “He’s the big brother I never had” he thought and gave Igor another hug. Igor had 2 silver cups and an ice cold Russian Vodka, gave Benjamin one cup and filled it to the top, just like at the old days in Berlin. “Benjamin, I never told you, but do you remember the day you came over and brought me your blanket, because you knew that i have none and so I could sleep warm? You’ve told me that’s your old one and you’ve just bought yourself a new one, so I can have this old one. I knew that you didn’t have a new one and I couldn’t sleep the whole night because I knew that now you’re freezing. I still have that blanket and it’s my biggest treasure. That night I will never forget. That’s why I’m here, because you’ve taught me love.” “So lets prosit on love and empty that damn bottle. I’m fucking thirsty and wanna get drunk, just like in the old days. I just hope you’ve brought 2 or even 3 bottles!” Igor was laughing. “You know that we can’t stay for long on 1 foot so I brought 4 bottles and we have a chauffeur!” Benjamin couldn’t say anything, he just looked in Igors blue happy eyes, thought about the days with him in Berlin, how they got drunk for 3 days in a row, eating bread and garlic, sung and danced, got lost in Igors piano playing, slept for and hour, woke up and drunk more Vodka. “Benjamin, I understand that you won’t deal with your enemies anymore, but we have here serious issues. You’ve fought some of the richest people and they are not willing to accept not to get what they want. After they’ve killed your friend in Pomona that wanted to give you evidence about their deeds, the whole fucking community went out of control. Perry is in real trouble. His brother wanted to kick him out of the company but that would have made everything even worse for him. I’ve placed somebody in the company and know that Perry is planing shit.” Benjamin laughed. “How can shit planing shit? It just is what it is and believe me, as long as i don’t think it, nothing will happen! Let’s enjoy this evening, my big brother! There’s nothing he can do to me. Trust me! He’s done and any action he might think about against me, he himself will face! Let’s drink and find a piano somewhere in town.”
Benjamin and Igor were drinking the whole night, danced and sung to Igors piano play and when they finally went home, all 4 bottles were empty, both guys happy and satisfied. They planned to meet in the afternoon, hugged each other and went to bed. Benjamin decided to visit Yasha, sat down on her bed and watched her sleeping, thought about their first night and all the following. He saw how beautiful she was, how gentle and how strong. Benjamin didn’t won’t to wake her up and admired her until he himself felt asleep. When he woke up, his eyes still closed, he felt her hand going through his hair. She had the most tender hands and nobody could touch Benjamin like she did. She knew all his sensitive points and handled them in a way Benjamin couldn’t even find words for. “I’ve read your posts”, she said, “and I’m very happy that you started to control your mind, but your wrong when you think that I have no answers. I’m just waiting until the time you’re ready to understand. You’ve wasted way to much time with nonsense, instead of starting really listening to me. How many times did I try to tell you and how many times you lost your concentration and flew away?” “Every time!”, she said, smiled and kissed his eyes. “Open your mind and listen, and when you finally do, then we can go and fix the problems humans are facing. I don’t fear you, but I fear that you won’t listen and that we lose the chance to change. I need you, as you need me. We can change it only together and you need to understand that we can’t do anything as long as you’re not listening to me!” Saying this she kissed him, stroked his hair until he slept in again and left.
Benjamin slept deep, left his body and went back to the day Yasha and him watched her birth. Was there anything he didn’t see the first time and would he see it now? “Listen” she said, “Listen!” Benjamin closed his eyes and there it was, he heard it and knew he has heard that before. It was the same scream from Yasha that he did when he was born. “Listen”, she said again, “that’s us!” Benjamin opened his eyes, “I know, I knew that from the day I first time heard you playing. I knew that you’re me as I am you. I knew we’re one. But why didn’t you let me know that you know it too at the day we first time met?” She smiled and closed his eyes with her magic fingers. “You still don’t understand. Listen!”
Benjamin woke up. “Listen”, boomed it in his ears, “LISTEN”.
Photo: Justine Tjallinks
Benjamin was already late and called Igor to give him 30min more. He went in the shower and listened to Yasha, didn’t understand a word, went out of the shower, sprang in his pants and shoes, run to the train and went downtown to meet with Igor.
„How you’re feeling, Benjamin?“ „I’m fine, no headache! How about you?“ „I already had some more vodka, so I’m superb. Listen…“ Benjamin interrupted. „Please don’t say LISTEN, this word is already echoing in my head since hours! Say what you have to say but please don’t ask me to LISTEN!“ Igor was irritated. „How can you understand if you don’t listen?“ „I’m listening, I just don’t want to be asked to LISTEN! Not today. I’m listening anyway.“ „Ok, listen….“ Igor smiled and gave Benjamin a hug. „I love you, Benjamin, you know that. So pay attention,“ he smiled again „regardless of your interests with the films, I have contracts which I need to fulfill. There are people waiting for their part and I’m more then willing to finish my work and satisfy their desire. But I think we need to change the sequence and take the rapist out of the game now!“ „What do you mean by taking him out? I don’t want that any of them ever now what happened or will happen to them! That was the deal and I’m not willing to change that! I know I can’t stop you because it’s to late now and you have liabilities. Your customers will get whatever they wanted but I’m not willing to let the sucker know! You’ll get him, an if you want you can do it now, but he won’t be able to remember. I insist on that agreement! Like all the others you’ve already treaded with your tender butcher hands. Please make sure that this concept never changes! Do whatever and whenever, but don’t change the treatments. Nobody will ever know until day X! I’m safe, I’ve told you that. Nobody can do anything to me, as long as I don’t think it. I might haven’t learned all the lessons yet, but this one I’ve learned.“ „OK, you’re the boss, Benjamin, and I will never change anything except the sequence.“ „I don’t care about the sequence. You get them when you can get them, like the ones you already got. That’s it. Was that listening enough from my side?“ „Yes you’re actually a great listener and I don’t get the problem you just showed with the word LISTEN.“ „It’s not related to you. Yasha tells me to listen and I feel like I’m deaf. That’s all.“ „Well Benjamin, I can’t help you with that and I better stay out of it, but I would like to spend some more time with you before I fly back to LA. How about that?“ „Oh yeah, that would be wonderful, but I do not want to talk about my former enemies anymore. I’m finished with them. Everyone had its chance and prevent to get treated by you and only one took the chance. I forgave them all, I’ve told you. I’m rather thankful, because without them I wouldn’t know what I know. And that’s what I need to concentrate on. And that’s what I would like to talk about when you chose to stay for a while.“ Igor took Benjamin in his arms and so they stood for a while, looking again into a bloody sky.
“You don’t listen at all, nothing I ever told you and you didn’t like, knew or wanted to hear, reached your ears! I say don’t come but you come. I say don’t write, but you write. I say be passionate and you hurry up. I say ‘We never met, right?’ and you say, sure, we met some weeks ago! When I give you the chance to talk to me on that rooftop, you’re silent as if you are shy.” Yasha was mad, screamed and almost hit Benjamin, but then jumped on top of him. Benjamin reached her deep hazel eyes and got lost in them. “Yes you’re right actually I’m shy. I was always reserved with foreigners that lied to me. I was under attack from so many sides, my assistant got threatened to death and left the town and finally people shot at me. What are you expecting? Every time I asked you which part you play, you’ve said you can’t say. As if you cannot trust me or need to fear when you tell me the truth. You are part of a group that observed me for years and you still don’t know me. You don’t trust but you make love to me. That doesn’t fit in my eyes. So I do whatever my senses tell me would be the best. We both know that there was no good intention behind your group of people. That we ended up in the light field that first night, that was just not part of the plan, and if so, then you couldn’t believe that I’ll come to the right equations. I don’t think that you already understood the quality of that night. You and these people still think that you can make a deal with that force. Just as if it ever could have been trusted. It broke each and every word into pieces. It canceled each contract ever done. You’ll become a victim like everybody else. There’s no doubt. You haven’t told me shit all these month. Nothing I haven’t already known. Nothing new and all I wanted to know got handled like a secret that would bring your secret strategy in danger if you would have told me. I don’t care what’s the deal with that force. All I know is that it is time for you to answer my questions, but in our so called reality. You’re wrong when you think that you can deal something out for you and your people. You need to start to trust me. I don’t care about your situation because if we don’t start to work together, there will be nothing you can work on at all!” She wasn’t really listening and after been satisfied she was sitting on his face. “Just be silent now”, she said, “I’ll think about and you please do what nobody else ever did to me.”
“Listen, listen, listen….” This word echoed since days in Benjamins head and made him unable to do so. He wanted to speak now and needed nothing more than getting his thoughts pronounced. Also on the contrary, Benjamin had over the last year very often the feeling that all the time he spent to listen actually was nothing else then stopping him from going forward. Like a one way street with a dead end. Ever since this feeling first showed up he decided to listen but still going his own way and that he survived the hunts on him gave him finally always right. So why should he listen now and even more important, why should he act based on this listening. He couldn’t be sure that it’s the right thing to do what Yasha told him and as every time he rather trusted his instincts than her words. As long as she wasn’t able to install a secure contact to him, this was the only way to go, because his instincts never failed in his entire lifetime. Their was no way to let him go in a direction he didn’t felt is under his control, or being able to dominate if danger shows up. Benjamin was like a wild animal that could smell danger over a thousand miles. But the biggest challenge was to understand which of his thoughts were implanted by the blood sucker that calls himself God. The power of our mind is infinite and when you’re able to control this mind, which the blood sucker unfortunately can, then this universe is in your hand, even if you have none, but wish nothing more to finally get some. “Do something, Yasha, do something I cannot doubt! I’ve done what I can that you should know that I have no regrets. That there’s nothing that can question my love for you and life. I’ll listen!
“Shut up and listen! You’re running in circles.” That was all that Yasha said and left.
Benjamin was the saddest when he went to Yasha. She was crying and tried to find reasons for her action. But Benjamin stoped her. “I don’t mind, that you did whatever you thought is good for you! I don’t mind that there are corpses on your road and you probably didn’t even know what you did. I don’t mind that you steal from me or copy my art for your records. I don’t mind that you betray and play a false game. I don’t even care that you lied to me since day one. You had your reasons and I could have always known about it. I could have listened. But that you asked me to think about my death, that’s a serious issue. I tell you I’m listening and the first thing you do is to prophecy my death? Do I get that right? You want to see me dead after I gave you everything you needed for your Schumann, Prokofiev, Bartok, Tchaikovsky and Beethoven? After you used our story as the base for your Turangalîlâ, you want to see me dead? Me that is half of that one. Me, that is the source of your updates? Well, be sure that I’m the master of my mind and I’m in power of my life. I consider that you don’t know what you do. I consider that you are in deep debts and I’m the price you have to pay. I consider that you are part of me! I could have known, yes I could have known when I first time saw you how you asked your assistant to scroll your notes. I should have known, since you were my weak point all the time. I don’t wonder anymore that you aren’t able to understand Mozart. It’s like I’ve wrote in that poem after we first met. You’ll never be able to love. Tell me, what shall I do now? Now, were you tried to kill me!?
Yasha didn’t say a word, looked at Benjamin, took his hand into hers, “You need to cream your hands and probably do your nails the way I love it. Are you sure that your reality is also mine? Is it not only your reality what you’re talking about? Only in your reality I wanted to see you dead. In mine I’m still teaching you. In mine, I still lead you and am the source of your movement. I taught you to control your mind. I showed you the source and connected you to the content of your artwork. But you don’t listen. You know now who the Seven are and I took the risk to show you. I traveled with you through time to show you the hazards that will show up after we came back from that light field. I knew that you want to go there and if you would have listened you would know why I never could come in contact! I promised you a sign that you’re not in a bad dream and setup that playlist the day after we first met. You just don’t listen and that’s why you’re running in circles. Yes you’re the source of my play and if you would listen, you would understand. I’m not your enemy and never was. Because of me you could survive the last 15 month. I brought you over to NY and made sure that you’re safe.” She still had his hand in hers, looked at him, gave him a smile and whispered in his ear, “You should get your nails done the way I love it!”
Benjamin took Yasha in his arms, felt her heartbeat in the same rhythm as his own heart, touched her hair and right ear, tried to breath but couldn’t and his hole body started to scream for oxygen until he finally could force his lung to do its job. “Yasha, you don’t make sense. I hear you, I’ve listened since 15 month, even if it didn’t look like, but you only show up with information I already have discovered. I know now you just played with me and things went out of control. You haven’t understood what’s happened that first night. You were just playing with forces that you don’t even understand but you could take advantage. As longer this story goes as more do I think that you, and not me, should start to listen. It’s becoming pretty clear that you know how to contact to the force, but you haven’t realized what it is. It seems that for you it’s just some kind of magic plus some virtual games with foreigners. Based on this games you’re creating your stories and your friends make complete LP’s like ANTI, which is our story! These things are pretty clear and there’s no doubt at all. I can trust my senses and everything I discovered proofs what I say. You know, I don’t care what you’ve done and why. For me it’s only important that I finally found out what’s wrong with the human species and if you would have ever listen to me, then you would have showed up. The force you are connecting to, is our worst and only enemy! But you’re in fear that I judge you for your deeds! How can I? I know that you don’t know what you did! I’m thankful that you did what you did and when I say I love you, then you can be sure that these words were never as true as out of my mouth. I let you go now. I won’t came anymore. I won’t say your name anymore. I’ll control my mind and don’t even think of you until the day you’ll come to me because you understood who we are. I know you’ll come and you know it too! This is our reality! We are the united force that finally can change this world!”
“Benjamin, where you wanna go, what you wanna think and what you wanna do without me? You can’t just disappear or cut the strings between us. We are one and you can’t change that fact. You’ll be always my source and I’ll be yours.” “Well, that could have been my words and probably they are my words. I’ve told you long enough who we are. You had other reasons to become part of that criminal gang and if you wouldn’t be who you are, I would let Igor taking care of you. You talk like you know but I’m pretty sure that you don’t. If you would have known, you would have find a way to contact me. But you still hide behind your avatars and are still only taking advantage. I see what’s going on around me and feel all the blood suckers. I don’t care. I let them suck as much as they can. As higher they go as deeper they will fall. I’m really wondering about all of you. You all were for some weeks completely insecure, I would say in fear and all of you still have all reasons for this feeling. I prepared a sweet surprise for each of them and Igor is still working! And yes I can cut the strings at any time. But I want you to be successful because your transporting my knowledge and actually I prefer not to stay in the flashlight. You love it, i hate it. There will be soon no better pianist than you. Look at the way you went over the last year! But we need to work on Mozart.” Benjamin took her hands, “When these hands one day play Mozart based on my love for you, then your complete. The problem will be that you need to open your heart and since you think that would make you weak, that will take a lot of time.” Benjamin kissed her fingertips, “You don’t know who we are! I’m sure.”
She laughed at Benjamin. “So I don’t know? No, I don’t know about the stories you’re making up. I know that I can connect to a source and update my brain. You say it’s you? No it’s not! You’re just part of it like all the others I did connect!” Benjamin was laughing, “As I say you don’t know! You just connect. You haven’t understood that only we as a united being could reach the light field and escape after we saw what’s going on. The whole trip has still not reached your mind. You see it as one of the many experiences you had based on connecting to people and suck their blood. You haven’t realized shit. I should have know it. The way you acted when I surprised you at the Disney Hall. Your heart in your pants. Scared to death that the guy you’re sucking since month all of a sudden stays in front of you. What have you done with that sculpture I gave you?” “She’s with me!” Benjamin was wondering, “She’s with you?” “Yes she’s always with me. She makes it very easy to contact you.”
Benjamin smiled at Yasha. “You’re such a wonderful example, built in its own face, and this intelligent human being that you are never became aware, even when you stood in front, about the facts I am talking about. I’m so sorry that you fear me! There’s no reason at all. There’s nothing you could do that would reduce my love for you. You don’t know, so how could I ever judge you? Oh Yasha, Yasha, what you want me to do that you question your fear? Fear is a liar! I love you and you should start to understand the power of love. There’s no other for each of us, there’s nothing above us. Look were we are after just 15 month and I want to go to the peak. I want to reach our possibilities which are way beyond our experiences. I don’t care about the form you chose to make it happen. Just do it!” “Benjamin, you have no idea how many times I thought about to finally show up. Yes I’m sure I love you too. Even if nothing you’ve ever said is true, you still showed me a exiting world I didn’t know about. But you’re right I fear you! I fear that you could judge me.” “As I say, no judgement from my side. But that doesn’t mean that we forget about the facts. We need to know and understand.” Benjamin took her in his arms, “Just trust me and let’s go from there! I will force the truth anyway and you can chose the form!”
Benjamins phone was ringing, he woke up looked paralyzed at the phone, “Just a dream”, shot it through his head, “It was just a dream!” Benjamin looked around, the phone still ringing, closed his eyes, “a dream”! He picked up the phone, “Hi Igor, can you call in 10, I’m dreaming”, hung up and closed his eyes again.
Igor gave Benjamin more time than he asked for and Benjamin asked himself where the difference should be between a dream and being awake. His arguments would be the same, and since the brains reacts to electromagnetic waves, Yasha’s words and actions fit absolutely to her personality. The strongest when she’s hidden and the weakest when she faces her deeds. Benjamin was wondering how that will feel, when you permanently need to hide your deeds, afraid that any of them could become public and how far the desperation went every time she was reading about her deeds in Benjamins posts. “I’ve told you, Yasha, I’ll go for the truth anyway and I give you the chance to choose the form this truth reaches your reality. Far away from your avatars and closest to your skin I’ll be like a feather.”
Artist: Janusz Gilewicz
Benjamin called Igor and went to meet with him for dinner in Brooklyn. Igor was in the best mood when he saw Benjamin, ordered a bottle of vodka which they emptied in minutes and ordered the second one. Benjamin couldn’t say a word and listened to Igors stories about the filming they did and how happy all of them are that Benjamin came into their life. “Benjamin, I’ve had a deeper look into Yashas playlists, videos and interviews that she gave and I think there’s no doubt that she knows what she did to you.” “Well, sure did she know, that was never the question. But I always thought that she also understood what I was talking about after we came back from that light field. I’ve researched now for almost 15 month and found proof for my theory all over the place. The human brain is not under our control, that’s the point! We have nature rules, physical rules and the major rules in quantum mechanics says: If it’s possible it’s been done and still going on! But scientists nowadays act like the rules don’t count for the human species. These days I’ve read about this theory and the research they’ve started, financed from the guy that runs Tesla Motors, where they say it’s a computer animated reality! But that’s bullshit! It’s enough to have control over your brain to make you even think such a shit. The idea that they are not in control of their brains just doesn’t reach these half gods. They rather call the reality animated.” “Benjamin why don’t you try to come in contact to them, show them what you have and go from there?!” “I’m not finished yet. I still spent way to much time just to make money. And then I needed almost 15 month to finally realize that Yasha don’t know either. I just couldn’t, or wouldn’t believe, that she’s still playing a game and laughed about my theory without even ever having a look on it.” “Benjamin we’ve done enough money with your films, why don’t you let me give you some, so you can finish you research?” “Igor, I’ve told you already and you know that my words count! And on top of it, I just do feel perfect by working with my hands. It frees and open my mind. But you could order a third bottle please!”
“I still don’t understand how they could get such a huge influence and do what they did, Benjamin.” “First you need an apartment that is under your control and filled with cameras to observe, a door where you can reach the apartment without being seen, so you can go in and out like you want, old television cables that you can use to submit information and then on top the new drones. They had all of it and that’s how they produce the stories for their stars. Most of the songs and albums are based on faked love stories with online victims. That’s pure life and more dramatic then anything you can create in your brain. First they hack your computer, then they get in contact to all your friends and most important all your enemies, and I for sure made me a lot because I’m producing art since 32 years, and it is very easy to contact all of them over social media, then they start to send you through the tv cables electromagnetic waves. That is possible and the military did for decades experiments in that direction. I got the feeling that the big social media companies are also involved. Facebook, Twitter, Google, etc. They leaded me direct to Yasha, which was involved from the very beginning. I’m sure I remember her face from my last theatre in Berlin. I never forget a face. There was a wild female pianist showing up with a little girl. She was just the hottest thing I ever saw and so I flirted with her until my friend Friedrich told me that she’s lesbian and the little girl her playmate. That little one was Yasha. She was in town to produce an album with German Grammophone and saw in my theatre the first angel designs which ended up as her cover picture. A black and red Angel. I didn’t had an eye for her. She was still a little kid and the other pianist was just the hottest and wildest girl I’ve met until then. You should have seen her how she went on stage. Like a hurricane! I guess the girls had a fight after they left the theatre and I had an enemy in Yasha.”
“You mean she knows you since 7 years?” “Well now that’s already 8 years and the last one was like digging a goldmine for her and that gang around Perry. But you need to understand I’m thankful for all they did to me! I was forcing to hit the ground since over 30 years and Yasha finally let me do it! That’s the very important point here. She didn’t know what she did. She just played with social media and created a foundation for her music based on my emotions. And you can turn that coin in any direction, there are not many on this globe that went as deep as I did. I lived a live that questioned everything and every day. I looked at the facts from every possible perspective and shortly before i traveled first time with Yasha, I was ready to give up and die because I could not hit the ground. The point is that my enemies don’t know that they leaded me to the truth I was looking for. And even in the month after, they didn’t understand what’s going on. They were just in party mood and stole from my goldmine whatever they could get. Starting with my Monkey dance already 3 month later for Hotline Blink, but that fucker ruined it with his vain attitude and then ANTI from Rihanna which was actually also disturbing. That they became a couple was logic since they stole from the same source. I didn’t follow after that, but I’m pretty sure that there is way more out there that is based on my story. I’m a goldmine, don’t forget!”
Illustration: Claus Zey
Benjamin and Igor had a great evening and the fourth bottle got served. “You need to understand Igor that here is everything coming together. It’s like a huge setup to finally lead me to the truth of the force that is in control of mankind. It’s possible, don’t forget! So it’s been done and still going on! We have proof all over the place back to the Sumer where the first gods showed up. We have no free will, and it’s for sure no computer animated reality. Life is still alive and strong enough to create with me a being that is strong enough to go through all I went through without going crazy. For everything I experienced I had already an example in my past. I couldn’t have survived the light field and the loosing of all that I thought is true without reading the diaries of my mother, where all of a sudden my whole life was wrong and I needed 3 years to get over it. When I had my first connection to that force that is in control here, it was just the same. Nothing was true anymore, but here we’re talking about thousands of years. The history of mankind is based on a lie just as my life was. It was hitting me hard but I could still stay straight, go forward and didn’t went crazy because I had that experience already. After I met Yasha the first time in person in San Francisco and then went back to LA I stopped on the coast because the road was closed and stayed there over night, sitting on the beach. I was highly sensitive like I last time experienced it when I was a kid. Birds were all of a sudden sitting next me, Mother Earth talked to me and wales stopped on there way to invite me to take place in one of them and swim. I saw the moon as the source of the influence on our brain. I know Igor it sounds crazy, but I’ve met many people ever since that are able to talk to animals and animals can do that to all other animals. There’s no death when they hunt each other. They just transform there so-called souls to something else and leave there body behind as an energy source for the hunter. Life supports life in any form and we have millions of examples where so called natural enemies love each other. We are the only species that is disconnected from life and build in the face of our gods, without any mercy for life we’re killing each other for no reason and destroying our planet. There’s no question anymore that couldn’t be answered. The difficulty is in how to tell the truth to a society that is living a lie!”
“Igor you have no idea how hard it is to see my enemies treated by you, because I know that they are not in charge of their brain and the following deeds. They used the force for their advantage but are at the same time its victims.” “Benjamin don’t forget they’ve killed your friend James and you got hunted 4 times. It’s almost a wonder that you survived!” Benjamin laughed, “There’s no wonder, Igor. I’m dealing with tin soldiers, as i called them all the time! Actually I really hoped that they evolve and start to listen to me, but unfortunately they never listened, they never questioned their position in that game they started. They’ve done it so many times and were always highly successful with it. I’m pretty sure that most of the bands that they produce are part of this game. I detected even a TV series when a producer of Homeland stood all of a sudden in front of me and told me the story of Yasha and me. My assistant was shocked and couldn’t believe how brazen they act. They were brazen enough to send me a black limousine and hoped that I take place after the chauffeur opened the door and let him drive me to my own death, that was directed as the meeting with Yasha! Think of it! But the peak vanity is then, that they wanted to do my project in memorial of me. They know that they could make a billion dollars with their venues, contacts and superstars. Probably 2 or 3 billion Dollars over the years. And I’m pretty sure that they’ve done it with others! So, they where sure that they can get the Angels! Think of it. But still, forgive em, they don’t know what they do! That’s what I’ve done, but yes, I’m still calling it by its name and the force in charge can have it darker!
“As dark as it wants it, Benjamin, as dark as it needs it!” “It’s Halloween time, Igor, make sure you have the right costume!” “I’m setup Benjamin no worries.” Igor emptied the bottle, gave Benjamin his filled glass, “You should visit Yasha. Isn’t she in town?” “Yes, she’s in town but there’s no place I could go. I don’t even know where she lives. She’ll come to me, like she did it at first place! Yasha is officially invited!” Both were hanging over the chairs and table and laughed, “Officially invited”.
“I just hope she has a good humor, Igor, humor is very important, Igor, humor, love and enthusiasm are weapons nobody can defeat.”
It was already close to sunrise when Benjamin and Igor decided to watch the sun at the Harlem River. “What makes you think that Yasha will come, Benjamin? I’ve never met somebody that went to its victim and apologized.” “Well, first I’m not her victim! I myself decided to go this way at every time. I took her invitation and went with her. She has nothing to apologize for. She might have had some other reasons to come in contact to me, but for me it was very clear who she is, what’s going on and most important what we can do. Or should I say: what we are supposed to do?! I mean I understand your argument Igor but where else can she go? Where else can she find what she found with me? Whom else knows who she is? Sometimes I think that she don’t even know by herself. If your around with so many avatars, ones can forget its roots.” Benjamin looked at the rising sun, “I’m like the sun to her. Herself, this lost shadow only shows up with me. We’ve done things nobody else, I know, can do. And I’m sure that she knows that too. I don’t care about her reasons to take place in my life. She’s here and there’s no logic way to go somewhere else. I know she fears to face this truth, like so many other truths, and probably she’ll need years to finally watch it, but that day will come. There comes the day she’ll know who she is and she’ll be as strong as her avatars and show up.” Benjamin hold his hand in the Hudson River, “This water will once reach and tell her that it’s time to be herself!”
Benjamin enjoyed his first silent Sunday since weeks and went out for a walk on the Hudson River when he suddenly could feel Yasha as if she’s standing right next to him. He had that feeling month ago when he walked at the same place but he didn’t take to much interest in it. Now he was sure she very close. He looked around at the towers that stand close to the river and his eyes stopped at one of the buildings. “Hello! Shall I wait? Are you ready for some words?”
“I know it’s probably to early. It looks like you still fear me, which makes me sad, because you have absolutely no reason since fear is a liar. All I was looking for were some true words from you, eye to eye. That would have been enough. But yes, I understand and probably it’s time for me to go my way again which somehow will cross yours because that’s how it always is. This place here on the pier was always one of my favorites, but now where I know that it is yours too, how shall I handle it? I’m not interest to push you in any direction, or force another meeting with you. Most of my questions are answered anyway but some words of you would have give me silence. Now time will hopefully do its work and run a little faster. A sprint would be nice.” Benjamin was smiling. He was sad but still could smile which was a good sign for him. He took some coffee at the coffee shop in the building she lives. Some floors above him she was reading his last post and didn’t know what to do. She knew that Benjamin knows about her deeds and feared to look in his eyes. On the other hand she would have loved to give him the silence he was asking for but she just couldn’t go downstairs. So she prepared herself for her flight to SF and hoped that Benjamin was gone when she comes downstairs. “No worries, I won’t be here anymore. I wished you’ve had the nuts and show up, haha. Have good and safe flight, my 8th angel!”
When Benjamin came home he received a message from Igor that he want to meet again before he fly back to LA. So he called him and they met at Central Park. “Listen Benjamin, I’ve setup 4 of my guys that will watch you 24/7 until we’re finished with the filming. There were others watching you and we’ve made pictures of their car and themselves. I know you say your save as long as you can think it but I need to make sure that nothing can happen to you. The guys over in Pomona told me that the elephants are more than nervous but actually don’t know what they really can do now. It smells like high noon!” “Igor please, don’t bother me with these guys. Their pants are full of shit. Get them, film them and let’s finish it. We’re close and I don’t want to spend a single thought on them. How is the situation with that second singer? Is the stage prepared for her and that thief she’s fucking now?” “Yes everything is already prepared, they just called me this morning. It will be challenging to get them both at the same time but no worries Benjamin, I’ll manage that.” “Ok, you please let me know immediately when you have them. Take care Igor and thanks for your time here. I enjoyed it a lot!” “It was my special pleasure Benjamin.” “Btw, i know were Yasha is living!” “Oh, how did that happen?” “Read my post, it’s already online. Let’s keep in touch and tell your guys I won’t see them!” “No worries you won’t!” It became already dark and Benjamin wasn’t in a good mood. He gave Igor a intense hug and walked home talking to himself and his shadow Yasha.
Benjamin walked fast and in the same speed shot thoughts through his head.
“Yasha, you don’t even think about your ego but you’re still going on to make sure that you’re doing better by supporting this ego. You’re running out of control over time and your brain doesn’t even understand how I make you feel when I am the source of all informations you are asking for. You just connect and collect. If I wouldn’t have seen the fear in your eyes at the Disney Hall, I could come to the conclusion that you don’t even know to whom you are connecting. You have long time ago lost yourself in that virtual world where you feel so strong and secure. Why the heck can’t you even realize how far that already went. Do you have any evidence that you are still existing beside your music and avatars? That this human being of flesh and blood is reality?” Benjamin was laughing and thought about the quantum physicist that he once punched after he told Benjamin that everything is an illusion and that all of a sudden found out it’s not. He could feel the pain and it was hurtful to wash his bloody nose. All of a sudden he became clear that there must be two forces working in the same world and that the one that defines our world as an illusion actually can’t belong to our planet. “Can you tell me Yasha what kind of punishment you need, since love is nothing you’re reacting on? Can you tell me how far I need to go until you open your eyes and mouth and take action?” Benjamin stop and set down close to a little creek that runs through Central Park listening to the wisdom of this water, became part of it and sunk into a deep sleep.
„So, what you think; where are wü now, Yasha?“
„I don’t know, Benjamin. You tell me; since you act like you know everything!“
„As sharp as from the very beginning. You know what you want and I’m happy that we got you there. In only 1 1/2 year you reached the sky. Artist of the year! Does it go better?!“ „Oh Benjamin, do you have an idea how happy I would have been to share it with you? Can you imagine my sadness to party alone on that peak?“ „Sometimes I don’t know what I’m more surprised off; your possibility to reach the ground, or the way you freeze the water and dominate the surface.“ „Benjamin, oh Benjamin, you’re so far away from understanding me.“ „I’m just listening and wondering, like I did all my life. And I know you’re wrong if you think that I’m so far away from understanding you. You forget that I’m taught in reading people. To see if you’re a human being or if you’re just controlled by your ego. But in your case I actually don’t care anymore, cause since you know me you’re more a human being and you and your master won’t be able to turn time back. Information cannot get lost. You happened! And the award was just for that. And in this case I can understand your sadness that you couldn’t share the party with me.“ „Always open for a little joke, my beloved Benjamin! Now I’m sad. We would have probably had a great evening together.“ „Yeah, I would have explained you the story and would have gave you the following feeling that you need to play Mozart. That’s still missing in your repertoire. The story of love! You have almost everything else, so where’s your story of love?“ „Benjamin, that’s a good question! Can it be that you messed that up?“ „Ouch, hahaha! That actually can be. But you know it better than me, this case only can happen with the support of your master. So, I propose: innocent!“ „Oh, that’s new. I never thought about that.“ „See, there’s always something that’s new and other things that stay forever. Like, I will always stay by your side. As the Rolling Stones sing; Sweet hearts together as one!“ „Is that a menace or a do I get Mozart?“ „You have Mozart as nobody else has it! Can I say that, please? Just, listen!“
Benjamin spent the following days in his head, argued back and forth regarding his “theory”, as one have to call new equations, and every time he showed up with a logical equation to that theory, he tried to communicate it, just to find out that very few people wanted to look at their life from an unexpected perspective. The idea that they could be influenced by an extraterrestrial force was against their belief of a totally free will and at the same time it was clear for Benjamin that they couldn’t react different if he’s right. Benjamin was always laughing when he was confronted with such situations and wondering about the seriousness that people have without ever having an independent thought. Just repeating what others said and believing it, they were immediately willing to insult Benjamin in the rudest ways when he questioned their scientific heroes. Celebrating their immense ego they couldn’t see the forest because their were to many trees. Oh, and that forest was upside down!
“Yasha, to know that you’re in town for some days, but there’s no way to meet, is probably the worst I ever felt since you showed up in my life. I planed to leave the town as long as you’re here but unfortunately I missed my flight because I was going to the wrong airport!” “Oh hahaha, that’s probably a sign, Benjamin!” “Yeah, that’s for sure. A clear sign that I lost my mind when it’s about you!” “Well, that’s how it goes. But no worries I feel the same. So what you’re planing to do now?” “Is there anything I could do, Yasha, that doesn’t make it even more ridiculous? I’ve done so many crazy things, went to so many places, laughing about myself, surprised you, met you to see into your eyes and then couldn’t see you. So tell me, my hidden princess, what you want me to do?” “Oh Benjamin, don’t you have fantasies anymore? Surprise me!” “Surprise you? I’ve done that 3 times and don’t want to scare you anymore. I’ll never forget your eyes at Disney Hall. Scared to death because I showed up surprisingly.” “Well, that was a different time. I didn’t know what you’ll doing after I’ve sent you into your journey. But you’re right, I’m still curious if I can trust you.” “Trust me? Did you still not understood who I am?” “Benjamin, you’re the guy that hired Igor!” “That’s right and I wished I haven’t done that. But as you say, that was a different time and I have no power to stop him. That’s another world, where the word of a man still counts. He does his job and has liabilities. You know very well that you were never part of his job!” “That’s what you say…” “…and I’m part of that world where the word of a man still counts! So calm down. I say you’re safe and this should not even be discussed. These rapists and thieves he’s treating with his tender butcher hands deserve it. Can we please just let him do his job and concentrate on us?” “Well then, surprise me, Benjamin, surprise me!”
Yasha’s last words to Benjamin circled in his head for days and he didn’t know if he should laugh about himself, or if he finally become mad with her, cause she’s still playing with him and his feelings about this fact changed every hour. “Surprise me, Benjamin, surprise me!”
Since he knew that nobody is fully master of its brain, Benjamin decided to laugh about himself for another couple of days and thought about the surprise. He had crazy ideas how this surprise could look like and since Yasha was on tour in some of his hometowns, all these ideas where easy to fulfill but he couldn’t decide which of them he shall do and ended up by doing nothing. Meanwhile Yasha was waiting every night that Benjamin came to her dreams, and they traveled together like in their first days, around the universe and back in time.
It was in middle of a trip with Yasha when Benjamin got called to come back, picked up the phone and got the information he was waiting for so long. “Hi Benjamin, Igor here. We had him! That rapist! Your double agent did a great job! Just as you’ve said, there’s nothing better then a spy that works for both sides!” Benjamin was silent. A thousand thoughts and pictures went through his head. All these crimes this fucker Perry did to him; now he knew he has it on tape. What a victory! “Benjamin, can you hear me? Benjamin!” “Yes Igor, I’m here and I’ve heard you! I just needed a moment to digest. So tell me the details.” “I’m in NY! Let’s meet at the coffee shop around the corner of your new place. I know your home, so hurry up please. I can’t wait to hug you and tell you everything!” “I’m on my way. Give me 5 minutes please.” Benjamin hung up, went back to Yasha, kissed and left her again. She felt something important has happened but Benjamin didn’t answered her questions, he just looked at her, tears in his eyes and worried about the story he will soon hear.
Igor was sitting with his face to the entrance of the coffee shop and greeted Benjamin with a big proud smile, hugged him and ordered an espresso for him. Benjamin didn’t said a word, drunk the espresso and then pleased Igor to go for a walk. They left the coffee shop and went in direction to Central Park. Benjamin took a deep breath, knowing that the next hour will change many, if not everything. “Ok Igor, let me know. Let me know every detail!” “It will be hard Benjamin, I hope you know that?! It’s crazy that people lose all their secrets when they are hypnotized and the truth is probably worse then you ever imagined!” Benjamin looked at Igor and made clear that he’s ready for that truth. It was a cold and windy day and some snow flakes gave Igors talk a romantic frame, even though there was no romance at all in his words. He told Benjamin how they ensnared and hypnotized the rapist and brought him to their film set where the rest of the crew was waiting to not only get all the informations Benjamin wanted to have, but also injected him a virus that will slowly destroy his brain and leave him back as the dumb idiot he actually already was. Igor told Benjamin in detail how Perry planed the war on him, who’s involved and what role they played. When he finally came to Yasha and her position in this battle, Benjamin silently started to cry and his tears froze in his face. His mind started to drive roller coaster with him, his breath stoped, his heart broke and his legs stopped carry him. Igor hold him up, took him in his arms, covert him with his coat and let him cry. They stood like this for felt hours, the snow falling on their head and ice cold wind blowing in their faces. “Benjamin, let’s go inside somewhere. We’ll catch a cold if we don’t move.” “Can I be alone now please? I need to be alone Igor! Please! I’ll call you later.” Benjamin unwrapped himself out of Igors coat and embrace and walked away and as faster he went as more memories he lost, until his mind was as white as the ground that was now covert by snow. Benjamin stopped, looked back at his footprints in that snow and it seemed like he went into another life.
Igor and Benjamin went to the bar they were going at the last time they’ve met. Igor took place at the piano and played and sung the saddest Russian songs one can imagine. Benjamin ordered a bottle of Vodka, filled the glasses and they emptied it in one sip. He looked at Igor and was wondering how much desperation these Russians were able to present and still sounded full of hope and love. Benjamin step by step forgot all around himself and appeared in the Russian soul until Igor stopped playing almost 3 hours later. They emptied already 2 bottles and ordered the third when Igor took place next to Benjamin. “So what Benjamin, I guess after you’ve met the Russian soul you’re feeling much better! Don’t you?!” “You better believe it Igor. I guess there’s no deeper desperation than the Russian! You taught me a wonderful lesson about hope and love.” Both were laughing, emptied the third bottle and ordered the fourth. No doubt they drunk like elephants and could still balance on a tiny string.
Dancing like an elephant on a string Igor asked Benjamin: “So how we gonna move forward? I know you haven’t watched the other movies we’ve made and you really should, because they are great! Especially the one with this vain hotline blinker, dancing like the monkey he actually is! And Yasha’s favorite pop star trying to give a lecture about sex in Latin, without even knowing one other Latin word than sexum, which is actually easy to know even when you’re dumb. Btw I’m not sure that she knew that! Or this wannabe white buffalo, trying to fuck a white plastic cow and chanting like someone that claims that he has 50.000 years of native Indian ancestry in his blood! And these two Italian bitches with their two pimps, trying to play the “The 120 Days of Sodom” by Pasolini! Just hilarious! But you really should see Perry raping a howling puppet…” Benjamin interrupted, “Igor please don’t do that to me now! It sounds like many nightmares at once and I regret that I’m responsible that these nightmares happened.” They looked at each other and started laughing like kids on a playground. “Well Igor, one thing is for sure, I wasn’t a holy man yet!” “Don’t worry Benjamin you’re almost there. Don’t forget you’ve had these ideas months ago and I don’t care if you’re holy or not, we all had a blast of a time and made a bunch of money with these dilettantes!”
“So, Benjamin, what’s the next step?” “Well, as drunken as I am, I would like to say we gonna promote the story as far as we can. Post it on all social media platforms until the day where Perry finally show up and apologizes! He can choose now how much my victory will cost him beside that he’s losing his brain. There are people in LA following the story and they are asking themselves already how much truth in this story is and it’s a question of time until it reaches the right people that will then investigate. These tin soldiers wanted all I have and I should make sure that they lose everything they have, because it’s everything stolen! It doesn’t matter that they are not fully under control of their brain. Fact is that we, as humans, have culture and can nevertheless still withstand the dark energy. Some wanted to have revenge for their injured vanity, others became my enemies after I helped them to fulfill their dreams and couldn’t get enough, and the poorest became part of this war just by chance and could get some money for new teeth or whatever their needs were. But the worst are these wannabe superstars that stole my ideas, destroyed them with their vanity, but still made millions with it. These are my millions and I want to have them back! Just to let you know! And then there’s Yasha, the other part of me! The wonderful girl that went with me on a journey, we both couldn’t even imagine. She’s absolutely innocent, there’s no doubt! She has just way to much possibilities and didn’t know that she connected to me when she “updated her computer”, as she calls it. And most important, she taught me the unexpected wonderful lesson in this battle. Unconditional love. And I hope there comes the day for her, where she’s able to update herself to this feeling. It’s our nature, Igor, and we need to get that back! That’s the most important step now and sometimes I think I should invite my enemies to become part of that war against our real enemy.”
“Why do you make such a difference between Perry and his gang on one side and Yasha on the other side, Benjamin? She knew too what she did and she’s probably the most educated of them and know way more about culture than the others.” “That’s a good point Igor and the only explanation I have is, that she was prepared from life for her position in this battle, like I myself was. Everything I’ve ever done in the arts leaded me to this exact investigation and everything I ever experienced made it able that I could withstand my enemies. When I’ve heard Yasha the first time playing, it was Prokofiev’s 2nd piano concerto, I had the weird feeling that I’m listening to the sound I was moving most of my live to. And when I then watched the movies of her on YouTube, she was using the same words and sentences like I does. I’ve told you about that Tongva creation myth, where that force without gender nor form, Quaoar, was dancing and singing the world into existence. That’s exactly like we do create matter out of two photons in our laboratories. One is charged with information, compare to singing, and the other is charged with movement, which compares to dancing, and right there we get an atom. Matter! So Yasha is the information and I’m the movement. We’re part of a whole and as such really powerful. That’s why we could reach the light field and leave it again. Usually you reach that field only after death and the way back is impossible without a recharge. What I want to tell you is, that in humans works a creator force but it’s split. We have a saying that describes the result. We say we’re looking for our soulmates. So in each of us works a force that is not complete. It’s aware of its creator source but completely desperate because it’s missing the other part. And both of them doesn’t belong to nature and are easily to control since our brain reacts on electro magnetic waves. And the force that has control is the one we call God. It has no feelings but know everything and yes it’s in each of us! This force is life’s enemy because it lives on the energy we create in this desperation state. It’s taking place during puberty and is restructuring the brain during this time. We have evidence for this change of our brains and we are the only species on earth that has such a restructured brain. We still have the illusion of free will but now we’re all of a sudden able to act against our own interest. Wars and the destruction of the world is its result.” “I need to have a pee now, Benjamin!”
Benjamin emptied the fourth bottle, lost in his thoughts about Yasha. He knew that she’s reading all his posts and was wondering how she’ll handling it. Will she understand that he has no other option than publishing his investigations and contact him, or will she just be terrified and hide. At the beginning, 18 months ago, when she became part of a highly criminal gang, she acted like she has to find out if he’s worth to become her partner. She was the bait for Benjamin. She told him that she has a lot to lose and that’s why she don’t show up officially, always hidden behind online avatars, but now she was close to do so; losing everything. What could she do? Waiting until there was grass growing over everything, which was kind of impossible because Benjamin for sure had not even lost a thought about letting this possibility happen, or shall she contact him and look together for a solution? The last weeks she was again trying to repeat the same game. Believing that Benjamin was full of desire and would run in one of their traps. In Benjamin eyes, this was the most devastating choice they could have done and he couldn’t believe how ignorant they all were. Benjamin didn’t had any desire regarding a relationship, but he was full of unconditional love. On the other hand he wanted an apology for the crimes they’ve done and the money they’ve made with his ideas and he couldn’t see that there should be anything wrong with that. “You look like a chess player that set its opponent checkmate, Benjamin!” “Unfortunately it doesn’t feel good Igor, it doesn’t feel good. It feels like the saddest victory of all time. There’s no satisfaction in defeating an army of tin soldiers and the woman you love! But the worst is, that they won’t accept their defeat and shake hands. They want me to annihilate them! What shall I do, Igor, tell me, what shall I fucking do?!”
“Really Benjamin, it’s not enough what we did so far, there need to be consequences at this very moment which they feel and are aware of. You don’t even call them by their real names, except Perry. I know you think it’s revenge enough what I did to them but they need to know what I did!” “What shall I do? Shall I publish your films? Shall I go over the story and rename the characters with their true names? Or do you want me to take revenge on one of them and do a public crime? I had my revenge and I don’t need to proof it. And on top of it I wished I haven’t done it. I’m not much better than them, even when I call it defense. And isn’t my revenge even worse than their deeds because it needs a long time until they become aware what we did to them. Until then they are in doubt. They all read the story, they all know about you and they all have horrible doubts. They all live in the worst possible situations. I’m in their heads and I lead their thoughts. I’m the master of their unworthy life! When I ask you what I fucking shall do, then I’m talking about Yasha! When I go further now, there will be the point where she falls from her throne and it fucking looks like she rather fall, than changing the sides and fucking show up. It feels like I’m destroying myself and support our real enemy!”
Painting: Jean Soriano
“So you don’t want to have a relationship with me? How do you call what we already have, Benjamin?” “Yasha I have no name for it. ‘Being one’ describes it the closest. See, I can look through your eyes, be in your head and body, feel what you feel, move your fingers, let you think what I think and you can do the same. Yes, being one, is my only explanation and describes also the feeling I had when I came first time in contact to you. But yes I still have a dozen questions cause I doubt the given answers. I’m not sure anymore if these are mine or your answers and I must confess that I don’t trust you fully, nevertheless I feel that I should.” Yasha gave Benjamin her trillion dollar smile, “You absolutely should, Benjamin, yes you absolutely should! And then, who knows, I will probably show up.” “You’ll show up anyway my princess, because there comes the day I can think it and then you’ll be where I want you to be.” “Oh Benjamin I really adore you. You failed so many times and you still think you’re the ruler of this game. You show up where I want you to show up. You do what I want you to do. Don’t forget, I’m the singer, you’re the dancer!” “These two are one and need to interact at the very same moment to make things matter. Your song is part of my dance as the dance is part of your song. That’s the problem here, that you still think that one of us is the leader. Information is nothing without movement, as movement doesn’t exist without information. And just to be clear, I saw you many times dancing to my song. So it looks like we also do change the sides. Your success is based on my information, as mine is on yours, we both know that. You came to me because you wanted something only I can give you and I’ve let you in because you had something only you can give me. But to our both surprise you didn’t even knew who I really am and it looks that you still don’t know. Yasha, you don’t have to defend your victory. And to make you feel better; I still go to some places you want me to go.” “I know, Benjamin….just love me now, Benjamin, and let me love you.”
The following days Yasha and Benjamin visited each other daily. They went for walks along the rivers, lay in the grass traveling light, loved each other the way they did when it all begun, Benjamin asked a hundred questions that Yasha truly answered but in Chinese. They had a tender intense time full of laughs and fulfilled desires that raised at the very moment. Yasha was goddess like in everything she did, she even gave Benjamin the feeling that he understands mandarin. They overcame time, and seconds could be like hours or days. Every point in the universe was reachable in the present now. They both felt life and it’s power united in and throughout themselves and they played with this power like children with water. Wet and euphoric they decided to visit the black hole that takes place in the middle of the Milky Way. Benjamin had the theory that space loses only one of the 3 dimensions, time disappears and matter transforms into pure energy. Gravitation in a much higher rate could compress matter into 2D and explain the mass of these discs. Benjamin kissed Yashas dark shining eyes that could look like black holes and faster than light they disappeared in the darkest dark as one.
The intrusion into this world of information felt like an ascending of mountains where the view in the distance became a view into the past and the emergence of everything that ever happened in this universe. Memories, so clear, that they created detailed pictures in their none existing, but wondering eyes. Benjamin looked at Yasha, “我爱你”. “I love you too, Benjamin. But let’s go now, we can come back.”
As soon as they where back, Yasha kissed Benjamin on his left ear which was her sign that she wanted to make love for the rest of the day. Her lips tasted like a garden of fruits, her fingers forced him to hum by touching his skin and a goddess smiled at him when he looked in her eyes. It was already dark outside when Yasha left Benjamin for a couple of days, without any explanation, as always. Benjamin was fine with this behavior since he could visit her any time he wanted and found himself mostly welcome. “Let me tell you, one more time, before you come back, Yasha, 我爱你!” She gave him a her goddess smile that slowly disappeared in the dark.
Benjamin went every day to his favorite place at the Hudson River, watched the people and listened to the birds and the water, wondering about the fact, that for Yasha everything was still just a game. A game where it was hard to say which part of reality was part of that game or if the game itself was the only reality. The answer for that question, told by the water, was clear as water. ‘You’re sitting here alone but you’re able to talk and listen to Yasha no matter how far she’s away. That’s your experience and therefore your reality. You’re entangled and every song of her, forces a movement in you and the other way around. You’ve had this experience in real time during her concerts and shouldn’t question it.’ Benjamin never questioned his experiences, but since Yasha came to his life, these experiences took place in forms he didn’t knew before, but he was willing to taste every single one of them. “What are you doing here, Benjamin? Isn’t it cold?” “I was talking about you to the water, wished you’ll be here and there you are!” “Well you don’t let me an option. I dreamed already and worried about you sitting in the cold for hours and waiting for me. You know I’m not in town.” “I know, that’s why I’m here. Somehow I feel closer to you at places you love too.” Yasha kissed his forehead, “Let’s go home Benjamin. I’ll walk with you and wrap you in my warm thoughts.”
When Yasha woke up in the morning things had changed. She had butterflies in her belly, opened her eyes, expecting to see Benjamin, but there was no Benjamin. How could she even expect that he’s there? Did he really took place in her head? Could he force her to move her fingers? Did they all underestimated again his power? And worst of all, does he really have evidence for their crimes? Panik reached Yashas brain, her heart was beating fast and she knew there’s something deeply wrong. She went online, read Benjamins last post and now she saw and felt what’s going on. He changed his tone and it didn’t sound like Benjamin anymore. How could he say that she loves him and why was that true? She thought about a text she once wrote him about the Stockholm syndrome. The victim falls in love to the perpetrator. Was it possible that it happened to her? That the perpetrator felt in love to its victim? ”Well Yasha, there are many things you don’t know yet and I will tell you why: You never listened! Do you remember the roses I once gave you? They listened!”
“Do you have an idea what’s going on here, Benjamin? What roses are you talking about and why do I not know about?!” “Igor, please calm down. I gave her roses when I arrived in NY and they listened, that’s all.” “How can they listen and how can you not tell me what they’ve heard?” “Well, I thought I better keep some secrets in case you change the sides.” “What the fuck! What are you talking about? It’s me you motherfucker! Igor! Your friend and brother! I would fucking knock you out if I would be there!” “Igor, please…, calm down!” “Fuck you, Benjamin, just fuck yourself!” Igor hung up. Benjamin tried to call him again but Igor didn’t take his call. “What the fuck!” Benjamin knew he shouldn’t have said that he didn’t trusted him when his phone rang. “Igor here! I’ll be in NY tomorrow. We meet at the same place and time as last time!” He hung up before Benjamin could say a word. “What the fuck!”
Letter for IGOR
Dear Igor, since you turned off your phone and seem to be very mad with me, I’ll try to reach you here. I deeply apologize for what I’ve said and did. Please try to understand that I’ve had no real other option. You know as good as me that my closest people sold me for some dollars. People that I’ve called friends and which ate from my table. People that could had have my last shirt if they’ve needed it. Just like you, years ago. Yes my trust in humans is deeply shattered and since I know that they don’t even know what they do, it became even worse. If it helps you, you can beat me and I won’t defend. But I please you to stay at your place. Don’t come to NY! We can meet next week as arranged. And turn your fucking phone on! Please! ;-)
Yours deeply, Benjamin
Scene LI – 震 – letter to my beloved Yasha
Where are wü now, Yasha? Now, where you don’t know anymore whom you can trust. Now, where you don’t know what’s true and what’s false. Now, where even roses can become your enemy and there were so many. Now, where you can see your own abyss. Now, where you know that it’s on me if you fall or not, like your success was on me. Now, where you love me like you loved never before. Now where you hate me like you hated never before. Now, where all your emotions are in my hand. Now, where you tried to find me in every other man. Now, where I rule all of your dreams. Well, we’re in my written play, with my rules, where I play the main character, setup the stage and direct the play! A play where I chose when I’m tired of a character and let him fall. A play where I’m in charge what each of you does, each of you think and each of you dream. I’m the puppets player, you’re the puppets. That’s where wü are, now! I guess you’re asking yourself how you can cut these strings that rule your life from now on. How you can get rid of the fear that will be your permanent companion. What you can do, if there’s anything to do?! Unfortunately I have no answer for you yet, since I’m still writing and start to love the play. So I guess I gonna write some more chapters and show all of you the living room of hell which most of you already visited. Or I could be the nice guy now and think about a happy end. How about that? Do you like this idea? Hmmm, I’m pretty sure you would like that. Don’t you?! The question is, why didn’t you like that happy end when I asked you to become part of the writing?! Well, let me think about it and feel embraced.
Yours deeply, Benjamin
II Scene LII – 艮
“One thing is for sure Benjamin, I’m glad I’ve made you my friend and not my enemy! Who the hell are you? You scared the hell out off them. I’ve never seen Yasha like yesterday. No vainglory at all and pale like a cat at her belly. Everything you’ve said that will happen, happened exactly the same way. You should have seen her! ” “I did, Igor, I did! It’s me that’s watching her when she’s looking at a mirror!” “Don’t scare me, Benjamin! I’m really impressed. How you do that?” “That’s nothing special and something every theatre director should know. I put myself aside, open me up for the other one without any prejudice, understand its actions and finally walk through open doors. Have you done everything I wanted you to do?” “How can you even ask?! Everything is in flow. I gonna leave today and go to Jerusalem. Vladi stays and takes care of everything. No need for me to stay until New Year’s Eve, but yes I’ll be back by then, no worries. Btw, I love your letter to me. I had tears in my eyes and for a moment I really thought I called you motherfucker. I just hope to remember at the end of this game what’s reality.” “Igor, there’s no difference!”
Scene LIII – 漸
“What are you doing, Benjamin? Is that the way you show me your love and thank me for the adventure? Until yesterday I really…” “Yasha, don’t finish this sentence please. I’m so tired of your lies. I know you love me! You’ve started the game and if I wouldn’t love you, all of you would be in free fall. Since I’m in NY I pleased you to have some guts. Instead you show up with your 3rd grade demons and force me to eradicate the whole pigsty. What do you want to show me? That I can be evil as you guys are? That I could kill, like you guys did? That I’m similar to you? You know I’m not. I know to which side I belong and I’m really wondering that you don’t come over here, since everything you guys have grew at my side.” “Ach Benjamin, why should I grow things when I can just take it and still get the applause? I’m the star, you’re just a plant.” “But strong enough to hold you up or take you down from that firmament.” “You’re just…” Benjamin put his right hand on her mouth and took with his left her right hand. “I’m just the man that loves you! And I won’t watch you drowning in the swamp of your criminal friends. You still have the option to follow your heart. You know that all of them will let you fall like a hot piece of iron the moment they need to rescue themselves.” Yasha didn’t said a word. She took his right hand in her left, looked at all the wounds he had, started crying, “Help me, Benjamin, please help me.”
Scene LIV – 師
“Igor, can you please cancel Jerusalem and stay. Don’t let Yasha out of your eyes. I want to know every step she does!” “Benjamin please I’m already on my way! Vladi takes care, don’t worry!” “Just do me that favor, Igor! You can see that wall another time and if not I’ll gonna build you one. Hire some students to watch her management. I want to know where they go, whom they meet and fuck, what they eat and when they shit. I want to have pictures of everyone they even pass on the street.” “What’s happened, Benjamin? Did I miss something!” “I missed something! It was in front of my eyes for month and I fucking didn’t see it. I’ll leave you a note. How many guys do you have in NY at the time?” “6 and you don’t make it easy for them, you know that!” “I need two of them for a job. Description will be part of the note! I need updates every 4 hours, from Pomona, LA, SF, Berlin and from you every 2 hours please.” “You’re the boss, Benjamin. I keep your word regarding the wall!”
Scene LV – 巽
“Ohhh, Benjamin it looks like you have a complete army under your command! I’m impressed! Isn’t it astonishing what a brain can create?” “I was wondering too, Yasha, but since it’s so easy, I thought I’ll just gonna do it. And I think even more astonishing is, what they tell me about the existence of you!” “So what does your shadow army tell you about me, my sweet Benjamin?” They both where laughing, Yashas eyes shined like black diamonds in the moonlight and burned her beauty in Benjamins brain. “They tell me that I’ve asked Perry the wrong questions. So how could I get the right answer?! They tell me about the kiss I failed to give you. They tell me I won the battles but I’ll lose the war.” “It’s a game Benjamin, not a war!” “That’s a question of the perspective and personality. When I got shot, I call it war. When you love, you call it a game and for both of us it’s actually art.” “The art of love and war, Benjamin Bloom.” “I love how you say that my princess. So we’ll keep that kiss within us and wonder how it would feel?”
Scene LVI – 未濟
“Ok Igor, it looks like we’re prepared.” “Yes we are, Benjamin!” “Wait until the pause and make sure we get it live!” “No worries Benjamin, it will be as you want it.” “Good luck and happy new year!“
Scene LVII – 恆
“Let me see, Yasha!” “Why do you do that, Benjamin?” “I’m so sorry, but you let me no alternatives! You might still no know who I am, but now we know who you are! That was the goal!” He kissed her eye and her pain went away. They looked in their eyes and months went bye. No words were needed in this singing and dancing silence. Benjamin put his arms around her strong and tender body. Her head fall on his shoulder and they listened to their simultaneous heart beat which was slow and almost not to perceive. “Benjamin, I’m so sorry. Please believe me, I didn’t know how far they want to go.” “Sure, you did, my sweetest spring. You didn’t know what you do but you knew that you do it. Don’t lie anymore, Yasha. I please you. Let’s look forward and do the best out of it!” “You think we still have a chance, Benjamin?” “It’s up to you, Yasha. I can’t question my love.” Outside started the fireworks to celebrate the new year, Yasha kissed Benjamins left ear and they disappeared between the rockets, traveling light.
Scene LVIII – 乾
Yasha and Benjamin went in the direction of the Pleiades, wondering about the beauty of our universe. “You know Benjamin, sometimes I’m wondering if you know who you are. After your first letter to me I had no doubt that you know who I am.” “I think I’m half of the one that can change this world and I never had a doubt that you’re the other half! And I doubted the possibility that you don’t know. I doubted because there were to many layers interacting. Some produced by enemies, some from you, some from me and the one that became the result of all together. That’s the one that nobody expected. The major content of our existence. Yes I doubted that the woman I love didn’t know or realized that content and wanted to kill me, but since I survived I’m thankful that you tried it, because I would have never seen and known that major content.” Yasha got lost in his eyes and voice, received all his love, forgot her fear and felt her own loving heart. “Yes Benjamin, we’re one, and I wish that we find a form for it.”
Scene LIX – 大有
“Yasha, I’m wondering since day one how this form could look like and every time I tried to find one you denied the content, so there couldn’t be any form. You couldn’t imagine that I forgave you and you rather went with your lies than my truth, no I should say, our truth. Now where it became art, is it still true?” “It’s both, true and art. Benjamin, do you have an idea how difficult it will be to look in your eyes, confess my love and believe that you won’t take revenge for my deeds?!” “Oh yeah I do! That’s why I always tried to meet you in the most possible respectful way because I always was sure that you didn’t know what you did. I know here on social media it looks different, here I call everything by its name, I threaten, I ask for revenge, I’m in a war that you called a game of love and should actually end at the slaughterhouse for me. Remember the three times we’ve met. That man couldn’t and wouldn’t harm you.” “Couldn’t harm me? What’s with my blue eye?” “I hope you’ll keep it. You’re so cute with a hazel and blue eye.” They both were laughing, “I love you, Benjamin.” “I love you too, Yasha. I’m wondering if we will ever confess.” “Well you could ask me to meet a forth time, now where you have my private email. You know it’s all about accreditation!”
Scene LX – 蠱
“Benjamin, Benjamin, Benjamin, this spiderweb gets bigger every day and the dirt that is attached to it blows my boldest imaginations. I mean look at the infos I’ve sent. You know that we’re fighting Hell’s Kitchen?!” “Yes Igor I know, but since you and your friends are familiar with that hell, we do have a good chance to clean up the swamp and make sure to get Yasha safe out of it!” “How do you wanna do that? Sometimes I get the feeling that she wants to be captured. The risks she’s taking are enormous.” “She’s playing, Igor, she’s just playing and didn’t fully understood yet that the game took over her reality. She’s still looking at the light at the end of the tunnel and she hasn’t realized yet, it’s a train. She needs to understand that their are no things that are more important than life! If she don’t talk to me, we can’t find a solution. That’s the matter of facts. I know that everything that is destroyed by humans, can be resolved by humans.”
Scene LXI – 訟
“Benjamin, who the heck you think you are? No, I don’t show up! ‘Art of love!’ How ridiculous!” “You’re right Yasha, I should have written ‘Love as (B)art’, after the Simpsons.” “Never mind. I guess you just don’t understand in what kind situation I am.” “You’re right, it’s getting worse every day. Are there more surprises?” “Fuck you!” “I haven’t heard that and please don’t repeat!” “Just leave me alone. I want that this nightmare ends. I’ll find a way out by myself. You’re not a help at all.” “How you want to find that way out when you haven’t even realized what you’re in?” “I’m in hell and that’s because of you!” “Don’t blame the messenger.” “Sure I do! You could just let it go, forget about or cut it out of your flesh!” “Oh Yasha, that you try to reduce the story to some criminal acts, which I actually already forgave and forgot, is really embarrassing. I won’t disown my experience and senses. Don’t try to make me responsible for your deeds. I don’t care about them. I care about the main layer of this story!” “Oh your crazy equations! That’s what you care about? Nobody believes you a single word, just like nobody ever believed a single word of these tales.” “For me it’s enough that you believe and know more about it than I do. It’s the foundation of your success. The point you haven’t understood yet is that thousands others pay your bills! Or you did understand but you just don’t care.” “Oh yes I did understand, and no I don’t care. That’s life! There are winners and there are losers! You want to fight this force? Good luck!“
Scene LXII – 坤
Benjamin was frustrated and had no idea how to handle Yasha. Was she rather willing to fall, than forget about her fear and start trusting in Benjamin? He couldn’t get the picture, changed his perspective a hundred times, put everything upside down, ripped it apart and put it new together, left all impossible aside, looked at the two left possibilities and got even more frustrated. Yasha was the weak point for Benjamin since the game started and now she became also the weak point for the others. He looked at her eye that had the colors of a rainbow, searching for the treasure at the end of it. “Yasha, when you really want me to leave without getting the treasure of life, I’ll go!” “You’re confusing me Benjamin, do I speak Chinese or can you really not understand? You need to go and stay!”
Scene LXIII – 渙
“Igor, it’s over! I didn’t understand that there was no war, it was about love and only love.” “So no more work to do for me?” “No!”
They hugged each other and left, each in his own direction and Benjamins track was filled with emptiness and a little light behind him. He stopped, turned around, went into this light, met the doorkeeper and said: “Remember I’ve asked you at the first time we’ve met why you don’t use love as a source of your needed energy and you’ve answered that we keep that energy and it has the wrong wavelength? To long and slow. You’re right, I should have kept it.” “Don’t worry Benjamin, you’ve never had a chance. You became a real danger, that’s true, and I had all hands full to manage my army, but you never had a chance. I’ve made love your weakest point at the very first day.” “Well it also became your weakest point, don’t forget. My information is out there and we both know, there’s the day it will be understood.” “Perhaps it’s to early for you to pass the door, Benjamin. You wanna try it again? I love to play with you!” “No thanks, I’ll gonna keep my love! But you’re right it’s way to early to pass that door.”
Scene LXIV – 泰 – Part 1
“As you wanted, I’ve left the war, Yasha, and I stay in love. We’re both to old for Schumann’s ‘Kinderszenen’.” “I won’t play them anymore, Benjamin. I promise! Can you please take me in your arms now, Benjamin?” He pressed Yasha on his breast and they seemed slowly to dissolve. “You should write only about us and our future adventures, Benjamin!” “Yeah, I was thinking about that too!” They were both laughing about the fact that they could make each other thinking the same things. “How about Babies?” “I thought that too, Benjamin!” “So how many virtual babies you wanna have?” Yasha showed him her goddess smile, “No Benjamin, I would love to have some real ones!” “Actually I was thinking about that too but I wasn’t sure if it’s convenient to talk about.”
Mage of sound
That created the path
I walked to unite
Mage of life
Raped by gods
Home of love
We’re your defenders
The liberators of pain
Existing through time
This is the moment
To free you from death
Magician of love
We went through the door
And it’s not an illusion
Scene LXIV – 泰 – Part 2
“Nice try Benjamin, but trust me, she won’t come!” “What do you want Doorkeeper, are you scared that she could?” “Well, just let me know if you want to go for another round.” “I’ve told you I’ve made my peace with you. I’ve stopped fighting and what scares you the most is that Yasha felt in love. I’ve showed her your true face and I’ve showed the essence of love, so we’ll see in which direction Yasha will go.” “Who the fuck you think you are?” “E pluribus unum! You know who I am and that’s why you fight me and show up again. I’m the man that will blow out your light. You’ll lose Yasha and then you lose everything. We’re as strong as you and you know that. And btw, this is still my planet and here count the rules of love! Yasha never felt more love than now and I won’t stop to send more. You know how it is, we’re receivers!” “She won’t trust you, Benjamin.” “She already does and you know that too. Like Leonard already said, ‘it’s written in the scriptures and it’s not some idle claim. You want it darker? We’ll kill the flame.’ So get used to it.”
Scene LXV – 噬嗑
“Benjamin, I don’t know what to do. I’m captured in my own spiderweb. Everything went out of control and I fear to look into your eyes.” “There’s nothing I blame you for, Yasha. I myself chose to go with you. I don’t care about your motives or anybody else’s that’s involved in this story. For me counts only the result. My search for the content of the 7 is coming to an end. You were part of this process but it looks like you didn’t understand. You had only your crimes in mind and how you can hide them. I felt you’re in danger and you permanently prove that you are, because a big part of your personality is vain, arrogant and proud, and it has the need to show its double face. Be careful, that face is worse than a virus. It promises way more than you can hold. Therefore I’m sad that you don’t trust me. I hold you since you broke into my life and now you choose to fear, instead of taking responsibility. You can talk or live in fear until life teaches you responsibility. I don’t even bow a finger. I know that you didn’t know what you did. Others will see it differently! I know you’re not master of your brain, like many others too. Probably most humans.” “I wish I could say that to myself, Benjamin.” “Well you actually do. Otherwise you would stop your games and wouldn’t hide any longer. You think you can go away with your deeds by updating that brain, but life will teach you something different. You don’t know the power of time yet because you’re still a kid. A kid, sad and alone, searching for love.” They both had their first night in mind, smiling to each other, almost touching their fingertips and listening to the spattering sparks. “Yasha, I didn’t support that kid to finally see it falling from the sky. I wasn’t the first in your game shows but I must be the last! You did way too many mistakes and I’m wondering if you’re aware how deep you will fall when your other…” “Don’t worry Benjamin, I won’t fall, there’s no evidence that I’m part off all that.” “… your other victims show up! Part off it? In my and other cases you’re the head of it! See, that’s exactly the problem. Ten minutes ago you were captured in your own spiderweb and now you’re just vain, blinded by your talents and acting like you trapped yourself on purpose, showing everyone how you hope to magically disappear. You can’t impress me with your haughtiness. There’s enough evidence. The bird sang and flowers listened blooming! I’m talking to you to prevent that someone else finally takes you down after you did other vanities and proudly show that double face.” Yasha couldn’t say a word. The air was filled by the screeching of the trains in which Benjamin got lost. He had no idea how to finally reach her mind. He could see that Yasha hasn’t realized that he, her former victim, was her only chance to escape from the upcoming free fall. “Yasha, when it comes to art and music you’re immediately transforming everything I tell you. Well, except Mozart, but that’s another story. So why don’t you trust me now?” “I think I don’t trust your love. There’s no love that could have survived, Benjamin.” “Ok let’s talk about Mozart then, since that’s the case again. I know Mozart is to simple for you. But beauty, wonders, surprises, nature equations and love are simple. Simplicity, the formula of life, is strong and infinite. Insofar is love always infinite. Everything else is everything else but not love. Simplicity and love can only be found in honesty. And right here we’re back to you. You don’t trust my love because you don’t trust your own. There’s the desire but no satisfaction.” Benjamin took a deep breath to exhale all his sadness with the air. He looked in her dark helpless eyes that were fighting a sea of tears and won, whereupon a tiny smile scurried over her wonderful face. “Do you want to go to our favorite place and look for that simplicity by watching the sunset? I’m sure it’s there.” “Let me think about it, Benjamin. Perhaps an hour before sunset.”
Scene LXVI – 未濟
“Did we really not recognize each other, or was it just me?” “Well Benjamin, I didn’t know that you just came out of the woods and haven’t shaved for months! You also forgot to stop by at the flower shop. Looks like it wasn’t simple at all.” “I really apologize, Yasha! I’m an absolute beginner. I’m ashamed.” “You better are! It was cold and nobody took me in his arms. How simple would that have been?!” “Too simple?” “There’s nothing to choke about, Benjamin, I’m mad.” “I guess the simplest cure is to try it again.” “Well now where you know what to do, it should be simple enough!” “Shall I shave too?” “Not necessarily, let me first have a closer look. I’ll see you at noon!”
Scene LXVII – 鼎
Benjamin bought some flowers and went to their favorite place. Yasha didn’t come and so he was sitting in the sun, listened to the laughing water, dreaming. He couldn’t find simplicity in his dreams, went up, put the flowers under an artwork with the title “everybody breaks” and tried to find his way home.